User talk:Mjensen32/sandbox

Will M's peer review
Literature8 (talk) 18:17, 27 November 2018 (UTC)
 * In the second to last sentence of the Early Life and Education section "with his father" is included twice
 * I really like your background additions, especially in the Career and Activism section
 * Your heavy additions to the aftermath section correct the plagiarism issue identified and include well sourced detail that gives the reader balanced, important information.
 * I like your omission of the statement in the editorial statement. Iti is not necessary and does not mathc Wikipedia's standards for quotations.
 * Are you deleting the entire Presidential Candidate and Political controvery section? Is there any useful information here? I see that the facts included are not relevant to the overall article, but can they be moved somewhere else?

Solveig's peer review
The additions here and there to the grammar improve the clarity and conciseness of the article! The aftermath section is a bit confusing (mostly because the old content is still there and it looks just a bit wonky), so just make sure to clump up similar ideas in paragraphs and keep that section clear of unnecessary information. The quote from DeMain shouldn’t be there (I am agreeing with your edit), but it would be nice if you paraphrased the gist perhaps. Also, his small roles in politics seem kind of interesting, so rather than just delete them, I might keep them and put them in a different part of the article. SBaylor (talk) 18:20, 27 November 2018 (UTC)