User talk:Mkresky12/sandbox

To Do List
1. Research biography of Rena Wing through Google Scholar (when/where born, family background, education) (Mariah's task) Mkresky12 (talk) 18:41, 11 October 2016 (UTC) 2. Narrow down most popular publications and how many she has published overall (Mariah's task)(Dylan's as well) Dylan.Walker 00:24, 15 October 2016 (UTC) 3. Find any awards won (Mariah's task) 4. Find what she focuses on with her research (Mariah's task) Mkresky12 (talk) 00:37, 12 October 2016 (UTC) 5. Add information about her career Chasity Stanczyk (talk) 00:30, 14 October 2016 (UTC) 6. Complete the area with her photo ( I found these to usually be on the left of the Wiki page.) 7. Tie the information into a lead section-or the short summary in the first paragraph Chasity Stanczyk (talk) 14:30, 14 October 2016 (UTC)

Mariah, I noticed that you have marked these as your tasks- however I feel like what you have posted will be the majority of the wiki article if not all of it. I added the information about her career but that could be tied into the education portion of her biography. I was curious on how you would like to split up the 'to do list' task just to even it out with-in the group. I do think your to-do list is spot on though! Chasity Stanczyk (talk) 00:30, 14 October 2016 (UTC)

As Chasity stated we can definitely split up this work. I am really sorry that I am so late to the party on this but it seems that most of the you have taken most of the tasks we should cover for the article. I can definitely help cover biographical information and current work life. I am pretty much willing to do whatever to help make this page the best that we can. Dylan.Walker 00:24, 15 October 2016 (UTC)

I think we should insert who is doing what for sure in order to clarify things a little more. I am okay with someone taking the topics 5-7 that I stated, I just thought they would be beneficial for the article. I think that in order to complete the next assignment correctly it would help if everyone was clear on what topic they actually had. Mariah, I noticed that you had the outline prepared first, if you want to decide what you want and then I can have the left overs after Dylan that would work for me. Chasity Stanczyk (talk) 01:22, 15 October 2016 (UTC)
 * Good points, Chasity and Dylan, about dividing up the work more equitably. Otherwise, I agree that Mariah's to-do list makes sense. J.R. Council (talk) 18:57, 1 November 2016 (UTC)

Outline
1. Life a. When she was born b. Where she was born c. Name of her parents d. family/husband/children e. Education f. Career (Group members- do you guys think it would be better to have this with her life or to add it in as a 3rd header?) Chasity Stanczyk (talk) 00:33, 14 October 2016 (UTC) (I think that having this as a third header would probably be a good idea. We can split it up into where she has worked and sorts of organizations she has been/ is part of) Dylan.Walker 00:24, 15 October 2016 (UTC) 2. Work a. research and focus b. Where she works c. amount of publications d. awards Mkresky12 (talk) 00:32, 12 October 2016 (UTC)


 * For the outline to generate a proper lead, you should start off with what makes her notable. Other than that, looks good. J.R. Council (talk) 18:58, 1 November 2016 (UTC)

Resources
1. Background a. Rena Wing, PhD. (2016). Retrieved October 11, 2016, from http://www.lifespan.org/rena-wing-phd.html 2.Publications a. McCaffery, J. M., Pogue-Geile, M. F., Muldoon, M. F., Debski, T. T., Wing, R. R., & Manuck, S. B. (2001). The nature of the association between   diet and serum lipids in the community: A twin study. Health Psychology, 20, 341-350 b. Phelan, S., & Wing, R. R. (in press). Treatment approaches for obesity. National Cancer Institute. c. Polley, B. A., & Wing, R. R. (in press). Randomized controlled trial to prevent excessive weight gain in pregnant women. International Journal of Obesity. Mkresky12 (talk) 00:52, 12 October 2016 (UTC)

Other comments from Dr. Council's on Assignment 5
See above for specific comments. Here are some general ones on editing:
 * First, don't put blanks in the first column. That is what puts the text in a grayed out box. I've fixed this for a couple of examples above. Look in the brochures and help pages on editing Wikipedia on how to do lists.
 * Also, look in the editing instructions or retake the editing tutorials on how to do references. J.R. Council (talk) 18:52, 1 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Finally, I'm not seeing contributions from Dylan and Chasity to the outline and references. If you've contributed, you need to sign so you get credit. J.R. Council (talk) 19:09, 1 November 2016 (UTC)

Lead section - Mariah Kresky
Rena Wing is currently a Professor of Psychiatry and Human Behavior at Brown University but her well-known work is found as the Director of the Weight Control and Diabetes Research Center at The Miriam Hospital. Her main focus of research is on the behavioral treatment of obesity and in particular how it applies towards II diabetes. She has successfully published over 200 peer-reviewed articles while simultaneously mentoring many junior faculty members on her topic of focus. She started the lifestyle intervention in the Diabetes Prevention Program. Dr. Wing is still active in her field outside of being a professor by occupying the position as Chairman of Look AHEAD.

She received her Ph.D. in 1971 from Harvard and later moved to Massachusetts Mental Health Center to complete her postdoctoral fellowship until 1973. She later spent a total of 25 years working at the University of Pittsburgh as both a Professor and Director of an Obesity/Nutrition Research Center before eventually moving to Brown Medical School where she has received multiple different awards including: National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases Council Member in 1999 and TOPS Award for Outstanding Achievement, North Atlantic Association for the Study of Obesity in 2001.

Sources: http://www.weightresearch.org/bio/bio_wing.html https://vivo.brown.edu/display/rwingphd

Mkresky12 (talk) 15:54, 24 October 2016 (UTC)

Comments:

1. When I was reading through this lead section, it felt a little choppy-it didn't seem to follow any kind of order. You were still able to highlight all of her major work and I was able to follow, however I don't know if it was easier for me to follow although it did seem to be a little all over the place, since I am aware of her work now too after my research. I did like how everything was to the point and her major life events as that is what the lead section is supposed to be! Chasity Stanczyk (talk) 17:15, 26 October 2016 (UTC)
 * It does seem a bit choppy, but the right information is there for a good lead. Since she is most notable for weight control, I'd start the lead by stating that. J.R. Council (talk) 19:11, 1 November 2016 (UTC)

Lead Section - Chasity Stanczyk
Rena Wing is recognized for her well-established research on behavioral treatments of obesity. Dr. Wings’ research examined positive outcomes for long-term weight loss as well as halting weight gain in individuals that are currently overweight. An important development in Wings’ research was the layout of a lifestyle intervention for those with Diabetes, particularly Diabetes II.

Wing began her career graduating from Harvard University in 1971 with a Ph.D. degree in Social Relations before continuing to Massachusetts Mental Health Center to complete a postdoctoral fellowship in 1973. Dr. Wing then finished 25 years at the University of Pittsburgh as the professor of many different areas including: Psychiatry, Psychology, Epidemiology. While in Pittsburgh, Dr. Wing became the director of the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDK) in 1999.

Currently, Wing is a professor at the Alpert Medical School at Brown University in the fields of psychiatry and human behavior. Dr. Wing also contributes her time as the director of the Weight Control and Diabetes Research Center at the Miriam Hospital in Providence, Rhode Island. Not only has Wing dedicated her time to serving on different councils and panels, she has also been able to publish 250+ peer-reviewed articles. Rena Wing has gained many rewards for her work such as the Taking Off Pounds Sensibly (TOPS) Award.

Sources: http://nwcr.ws/people/rena.htm http://www.weightresearch.org/bio/bio_wing.html https://vivo.brown.edu/display/rwingphd Chasity Stanczyk (talk) 17:08, 26 October 2016 (UTC)

Mariah's Comments: I think that you did a really well and thought out job. I like the order that you wrote your lead section and the fact that you were able to summarize most of what Wing did without giving away too many details that will be used later on. I am just concerned that the very last paragraph might be borderline too much "in favor" of Wing. In other words it sounds like you are trying to advocate for her as a wonderful person. I might just be reading into the paragraph more than necessary but I am just mostly concerned about making sure that the article is completely unbiased which will be difficult since she has had many great achievements.
 * I agree - this is a nice job! This could be a good foundation for your group lead for Assignment 7. J.R. Council (talk) 19:13, 1 November 2016 (UTC)

Mkresky12 (talk) 05:58, 27 October 2016 (UTC)

Lead Section - Dylan Walker
Rena Wing is a distinguished psychiatrist and researcher most prominently known for the work she has done in regards to obesity and those with Type II Diabetes. This research examined the effect of positive outcomes for long-term weight loss and stopping weight gain for these individuals. Wing's career began after graduating from Harvard in 1971 with a Ph.D. in Social Relations. From there she went on to complete her postdoctoral fellowship at Massachusetts Mental Health Center in 1971. From there Dr. Wing became a professor at the University of Pittsburgh. Wing is currently the Director of the Weight Control and Diabetes Research Center, a professor at the Alpert Medical School at Brown University, and has written over 250 peer reviewed articles.

Sources; http://www.lifespan.org/rena-wing-phd.html http://www.weightresearch.org/bio/bio_wing.html https://vivo.brown.edu/display/rwingphd

I know that this is very similar to both Mariah and Chasity's leads but I think it does a decent job of condensing and synthesizing the information. It may be a little touch and go but I think it goes over the whole of what we want to talk about without being too lengthy. Dylan.Walker 03:13, 27 October 2016 (UTC) — Preceding unsigned comment added by Dylan.walker (talk • contribs)

Mariah's Comments: I like that your section is straight and to the point. But I do think that since it is so factual based the information is more forceful than it needs to be. It also doesn't give the proper amount of attention towards some of the greater and broader achievements Wing has had. The way that your wrote this section was just basically listing off facts rather than walking through her life in a quick yet graceful manner. On the other hand it doesn't give out too much information that will later be explained in more depth, saving the readers from too much repetition. Moral of the story: there are pros and cons to how you wrote your lead section. Mkresky12 (talk) 06:06, 27 October 2016 (UTC)
 * I would slightly disagree with Mariah's comments. Dylan's lead is concise, which is a good thing. Somewhere between this and the others would be a happy medium. "walking through her life in a quick yet graceful manner" is great for an overall goal, but don't forget that you have the whole text of the article for doing that. J.R. Council (talk) 19:16, 1 November 2016 (UTC)

== Combined Lead ==

Rena R. Wing is recognized for her well-established research on behavioral treatments of obesity. Dr. Wings’ research examined positive outcomes for long-term weight loss as well as halting weight gain in individuals that are currently overweight. This lead to an important development in Wings’ research which was the layout of a lifestyle intervention for those with Diabetes, particularly Diabetes II.

Wing began her career graduating from Harvard University in 1971 with a Ph.D. degree in Social Relations before continuing to Massachusetts Mental Health Center to complete a postdoctoral fellowship in 1973. Dr. Wing then finished 25 years at the University of Pittsburgh as the professor of many different areas including: Psychiatry, Psychology, Epidemiology. While in Pittsburgh, Dr. Wing became the director of the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDK) in 1999.

Currently, Wing is a professor at the Alpert Medical School at Brown University in the fields of psychiatry and human behavior. Dr. Wing also contributes her time as the director of the Weight Control and Diabetes Research Center at the Miriam Hospital in Providence, Rhode Island. Not only has Wing dedicated her time to serving on different councils and panels including Chairman of Look AHEAD, she has published over 250 peer-reviewed articles. She achieved this by simultaneously mentoring many junior faculty members on her topic of focus. Rena Wing has gained many rewards for her work such as the Taking Off Pounds Sensibly (TOPS) Award.

Sources; http://www.lifespan.org/rena-wing-phd.html http://www.weightresearch.org/bio/bio_wing.html https://vivo.brown.edu/display/rwingphd

— Preceding unsigned comment added by Mkresky12 (talk • contribs) 17:35, 7 November 2016 (UTC) Mkresky12 (talk) 17:44, 7 November 2016 (UTC) Chasity Stanczyk (talk) 17:52, 7 November 2016 (UTC) Dylan.Walker 03:38, 8 November 2016 (UTC)

Combined Lead
Rena R. Wing is recognized for her well-established research on behavioral treatments of obesity. Dr. Wings’ research examined positive outcomes for long-term weight loss as well as halting weight gain in individuals that are currently overweight. This lead to an important development in Wings’ research which was the layout of a lifestyle intervention for those with Diabetes, particularly Diabetes II.

Wing began her career graduating from Harvard University in 1971 with a Ph.D. degree in Social Relations before continuing to Massachusetts Mental Health Center to complete a postdoctoral fellowship in 1973. Dr. Wing then finished 25 years at the University of Pittsburgh as the professor of many different areas including: Psychiatry, Psychology, Epidemiology. While in Pittsburgh, Dr. Wing became the director of the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDK) in 1999.

Currently, Wing is a professor at the Alpert Medical School at Brown University in the fields of psychiatry and human behavior. Dr. Wing also contributes her time as the director of the Weight Control and Diabetes Research Center at the Miriam Hospital in Providence, Rhode Island. Not only has Wing dedicated her time to serving on different councils and panels including Chairman of Look AHEAD, she has published over 250 peer-reviewed articles. She achieved this by simultaneously mentoring many junior faculty members on her topic of focus. Rena Wing has gained many rewards for her work such as the Taking Off Pounds Sensibly (TOPS) Award.

Sources; http://www.lifespan.org/rena-wing-phd.html http://www.weightresearch.org/bio/bio_wing.html https://vivo.brown.edu/display/rwingphd

— Preceding unsigned comment added by Mkresky12 (talk • contribs) 17:35, 7 November 2016 (UTC) Mkresky12 (talk) 17:44, 7 November 2016 (UTC) Chasity Stanczyk (talk) 17:52, 7 November 2016 (UTC) Dylan.Walker 03:38, 8 November 2016 (UTC)

Feedback
Nice work on your draft. A few things moving forward
 * While your original lead might have been too long, this one is too short. I know, this isn't the sort of feedback anyone wants to hear.
 * Adding links to other articles helps integrate your work into Wikipedia, and makes it easy for readers to learn more about things they might want to learn more about.
 * Only proper nouns should be capitalized - do "diabetes", not "Diabetes". Section headers should use sentence capitalization, not title capitalization. Only capitalize the first word (and any proper nouns, of course).
 * Leave out the professional memberships unless there's something significant to say about them (like that she was president of a society or something).
 * You're relying pretty heavily on a single source. It also happens to not be independent from the subject of the article. Can you find some independent sources? That would improve the article substantially.
 * References go after punctuation, not before. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 22:46, 6 December 2016 (UTC)