User talk:Mmatho/sandbox

Lead
Overall, a strong lead. How many sections? The structure of the novel is important. There are some grammar issues that need to be addressed like the wrong preposition, all sentences need to be independent clauses, and missing commas. Francophone instead of Francophile. There are so many places where one can easily link to other Wikipedia articles: names of authors, magical realism, the Parsley Massacre, etc. Do this throughout the article.

Structure
Return to Manual of Style/Novels to see the structure of the article: the order of sections.

Biography
What was the name of Alexis' famous great-grandfather? There is at least one missing connecting sentence that covers the period between childhood in France and medical school.

"Later in life, Jacques Alexis became a popular challenger of Duvalier and formed the left-wing political party the People’s Consensus Party. He was forced to leave Haiti in 1959 by the dictatorship. Upon his final return to Haiti in 1961, he was captured and tortured by a Tonton Macoute paramilitary force and brought to Port-au-Prince, until his death in prison." The phrasing here needs to be revised. To write that that Alexis was a popular challenger suggests that he had the support of the public. Does your research bear out this suggestion? The second sentence has a misplaced modifier. If you rewrite it in the active voice, the misplaced modifier can be corrected. 'Until his death in prison' is not properly joined to the main clause.

What other information needs to be included?

Plot Summary
This is a good basic plot summary. What else can be added for a more full summary? What key details are also important? In revising, you can consider how to address the novel's ternary structure.

Character
Only include information relevant to the description of the character: physical appearance; speech, thoughts, emotions, dreams; actions and interactions; what others say and how others react. All other information is in the wrong section.

Background
Beyond Trujillo, what else can be included? Review the Introduction of the novel to help you figure out what else is relevant to the background. Only include information that covers the novel's writing and development. All other information is in the wrong section.

Setting
Why 'hellscape'? What is a more neutral and expository way to describe the prologue? Is this true for the entire novel? Is the entire novel in Port-au-Prince? What are the different locations? What is the atmosphere at the different locations? What about class interactions?

Themes
Good in content. Needs considerable work on the level of language. Remember that this is expository writing and one should write in full sentences.

Style
There is information in the Introduction on the different literary movements (surrealism, negritude, naturalism, and magical realism) that impacted Alexis' style. Why isn't any of it referenced? See comment on romantic in the Overall section. The structure of the novel is also important and not mentioned. Some of what is included is irrelevant to style. Look up magic realism to ensure that you accurately convey this style of writing.

Overall
Remember to spell his name correctly throughout the piece. Titles of novels are italicized. You should be consistent in how you reference the novel (either in French or English. Since this is the English Wikipedia, the title should be the English translation.) Use third-person throughout. Why do you keep describing the writing as romantic? Do you know what that means in English literature? Remember that your tone should be casual and neutral while only reflecting the facts. At times, the language is biased and a tad informal. Refrain from using adverbs. The article will benefit from a revision that is attentive to structure, language, and grammar. Missing Reception and Publication History. B- for the article.Redwellie14 (talk) 04:47, 5 June 2017 (UTC)