User talk:Mnayl043/sandbox

Kim Peer Review
Baths of Agrippa

Lead -"structure from ancient Rome" instead of of -perhaps incorporate more of the important topics discussed under the following subheadings, such as when it was built, its location, the significance of the building.

History "were supplied with water and a large lake..." I don't think there's a need for 'with the addition of', also do we know the proximity to the stagnum agrippae? -good reference to ancient AND modern sources here -citation needed for expansion under emperors Constantius and Constans in fourth century AD. Overall great section, clear, neutral and well put together!

The Baths -comma after Laconicum -citation in brackets? -good integration of ancient source -"Dio tells us that "gave the name...": improve introduction quote -perhaps move part on Pantheon up to history section to help contextualize what went on in the same period rather than include it in a section specifically about the baths. -period before citation -monumental structure part interesting and well written -perhaps subheading for Aqua Virgo, or an entire section altogether for other structures discussed such as the Pantheon and its relation to the baths, as well as the completion of the Aqua Virgo being integral to the erection of his baths. -perhaps a subheading for function of the baths and another for reconstructions -the section for history is rather long and I think adding subsections may make the different topics easier to find and understand

Structure and location -good detail in regards to the marble plan (two periods though, fix that) -"There is today..." sentence needs rephrasing, less commas. -also with reference to scant archaeological evidence, do we know how scant? what specific remains are there? -mention of Pantheon & Agrippa's building program redundant; again I think it'd be more helpful for it to have its own subsection and also for the part on location to come up earlier in the article.

Adornment -short section, add more or integrate elsewhere, or rename it 'Design' and discuss more general designs of baths, perhaps its stylistic influences from other cultures or its use of particular building materials etc.

Bathing in the Roman World -I think this is a great section, helps contextualize and stress the significance of this article in the grand scheme of things. -'complex' repetitive. -good discussion on vice, although I feel this is worth stressing in the article that these are particular points of view, not necessarily all (you know, remain neutral and all that!), especially because you're citing one article rather than a few different ones. -good section on water, though once more I'd implement subsection headings anytime you spend more than 5 lines discussing something, it's worth signposting it with a subheading for readers to better navigate through the article and trace its progression -heavy reliance of Fagan, I'd try to integrate a different source here now and then -good mention of the technological achievement of the baths -use of BCE, earlier used BC, try to remain consistent -"evidence suggest that bathing began to become"... I'd switch just to "became" -this section while great with providing context, also goes a bit off topic, I'd keep it more focused on the baths of agrippa -good discussion of various types of rooms within a bath, perhaps mention the progression through the rooms. -very neutral discussion of tintinabulum, good -like the last para of that section -period after itself.

Associated Feature: The Aqua Virgo -again BCE, perhaps just change the very early use of BC to BCE to remain consistent -when mentioning the water supply to specific regions perhaps link to the '14 regions of augustan rome' article on wiki Associated Feature: Euripus -great use of primary sources here, and good job discussing and relating them. Associated Feature: Stagnum -"The lake is most often placed to the west of the bath structure and, as previously mentioned above, there are, in fact, no references to anyone swimming in the Stagnum, using it in lieu of the lacking swimming pool in the bath structure." too many commas! -citation for Lloyd's suggestion

-In general with the associated features I think it would service this article on the Baths of Agrippa more if they were under one section of Associated features and condensed as each in their self could encompass their own wiki page and so digressing here for some time isn't too conducive to learning specifically about the Baths of Agrippa (but I do appreciate they are relevant and should be mentioned! perhaps just more briefly) -Overall really great article! Kimberlym21 (talk) 01:04, 13 March 2018 (UTC)

Amber Peer Review
Forum of Nerva

(I realize that you are still going to add more content and citations, but this is my first impression of the page!)

Lead: Possibly lengthen to 2-3 sentences if possible, to give a more precise idea of its location and use.

Love the side panel with map/ picture/ quick info. Easy to read. Perhaps the Built by/for section should include Nerva too since it was built by both emperors?

History: Good start, but should make it clearer what textual sources, if any, we have talking about this. I would like to see a separate section talking about the excavation history, since it was excavated for such a long period of time. There is so much info in the "External Links" pages about the excavations, so this might be something to add. Some of the language describing the structure here is pretty vague (eg. not specifying the appearance or type of "columns") but of course this is something that can be focused on more in the "Structure" section.

Structure: It's a little bit hard to get a sense of the layout of the site here. Maybe make a separate section for the Temple of Minerva if there's enough information on it?

Overall: The internal/ external links on the page are thorough so far and lead people to more information on whichever forums/ structures they're most interested in. Of course, the lack of citations in the body of the article needs to be addressed, but it looks like between online sources and excavation/ historical sources, there will be plenty of material to cite from.

Good luck! SelinaLee (talk) 19:49, 13 March 2018 (UTC)