User talk:Moll brown/sandbox

What are your initial plans for your article? Arrotramel (talk) 13:01, 14 September 2016 (UTC)
 * I will be contacting the Linda Leer center to set up time to do research. Roberta Bitgood's page is very scant, and I know there is a lot available in the collection definitely contains information that can be incorporated. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Moll brown (talk • contribs) 20:00, 14 September 2016 (UTC)

Hi Moll, All of your edits to the existing pages are calculated and add clarity to the existing piece. You've also added some valuable information that contributes importantly to the piece. For example, the note about her being the first woman to receive a doctorate in sacred music is super interesting! The only grammatical suggestion I have is the sentence that starts with "Bitgood won a $500 scholarship..." The part after the comma sounds a little funny. It might be better to instead incorporate the previous sentence so that it reads, "Bitgood graduated from the Connecticut College for Women in 1928, and was awarded a $500 scholarship to continue her studies in New York at the Guilmant Organ School. She worked with William C. Carl during her tenure at Guilmant, and she graduated in 1930." Or something along those lines. It might also be interesting to add a sentence or two about who her parents were if you have any information about them. Overall, really good job! She sounds like a very interesting individual. Eriggs95 (talk) 19:28, 20 October 2016 (UTC)