User talk:MollyPribble/Darkness into Light

Overall this article is looking amazing - I just have some small grammar edits that could be done - this is represented by [ ].

The Darkness into Light event is a fundraiser for Pieta House which provides counseling to anyone struggling with [ delete suicide] or [delete for anyone] impacted by suicide.[8] Joan Freeman, an Irish psychologist and politician, founded Pieta House in 2006. [10] Pieta House aims to support those who are in suicidal distress, engage in self-harm, [ replace and with or] are bereaved by suicide.[11]

Out of the Darkness Walk is a similar event to the Darkness into Light fundraiser held in the United States. Beginning in 2004, [i]t is a community walk that takes place in towns across the country.[12] The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention created this event as a way for anyone impacted by suicide (survivors, family members, friends, communities) to come together. Similar to the Darkness into Light Walk, this event is a walking fundraiser where participants walk[]side-by-side in support of one another. The goal of this event is to bring more awareness to mental health, fight suicide and [delete also] remember loved ones lost to suicide.[12]

Each year over 700,000 people [replace "die" with lose their lives] due to suicide globally.[13] Current obstacles to suicide prevention include stigma surrounding mental disorders [comma instead of and] suicide[,] and poor data quality.[13] According to the World Health Organization, only 38 countries curre[n]tly have a suicide prevention plan and only 80 out of 194 Member States have data that can be used to estimate suicide rates.[13][14]

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The lead is okay – I think it could be a bit more concise and concentrate a few of the more specific details in a body section. For instance, the information about number of participants seems a bit excessive and not necessary when trying to quickly understand what Darkness into Light is.

There are some issues with clarity and wording. “The Darkness into Light event is a fundraiser for Pieta House which provides counseling…” could be reworded to “Darkness into Light is a charity event which raises funds for suicide intervention charity Pieta House.” Additionally, because the link for Pieta House redirects to the page for Joan Freeman, I think some of these hyperlinks could be removed (I believe the standard is to link to the relevant page the first time it appears).

For the “Out of Darkness Walk Fundraiser” section, I wonder if this is too separate of a topic to be covered in this same article, since it’s hosted by a different charity. One claim here, which talks about the reasoning for why the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention created the event, is not substantiated with references and therefore makes a claim that can be considered a personal opinion.

The final body section, “Suicide Prevention and Awareness” could instead be listed as “Related Articles” with a link to more robust articles on suicide prevention (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_prevention) as well as links to other articles about charities and fundraising.

Overall, the style of the article is relatively consistent, there are no obvious grammatical errors, and the article is adequately informational. However, some references are missing or repeated, which can be confusing. For instance, some of the information about the services offered by the Pieta House is taken from the Wikipedia page for Joan Freeman, and the page for Freeman also already covers a lot of the information about the Darkness into Light event. I think including more information unique to the page for Darkness into Light, such as recent fundraising goals and results, would make the page more independent from the page it references. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Cawow (talk • contribs) 21:47, 7 February 2022 (UTC)

Peer review by Aukwiri
Overall great article, clear, concise and factual. Easy to understand and provides relevant history on the topic. Starts off with a strong lead that introduces the topic of Darkness into Light well, providing background and relevant facts. However, the lead could more directly reference each of the following sections.

The content in each section appears very pertinent to the topic and provides readers with a multidimensional understanding to the history of Darkness into Light and its purpose. The manner the article is organized is also very easy to follow and understand. The tone throughout the entire article is neutral, and there does not seem to be any sort of bias or attempt at persuasion. The sources seem to fit well, clicking through a few of them, it appears that the links work, and reading through the sources seems that they have reputable information from a diverse selection of authors, and the article accurately reflects their content. There do not appear to be any images or media. --Aukwiri (talk) 01:50, 8 February 2022 (UTC)