User talk:Moni3/Save Our Stonewall

Comments
I'm reading this quickly focusing on whether I understand exactly what you're saying, Moni.
 * I'm not sure what I'm supposed to take away from the last sentence in the lead; I get the feeling that I should either be getting more or less. - Dan Dank55 (talk)(mistakes) 22:21, 6 August 2008 (UTC)
 * "it was not used for prostitution": What I understand from this is that people didn't generally go there looking to pay for sex. But we can't say no one ever paid for sex there, can we? - Dan Dank55 (talk)(mistakes) 22:29, 6 August 2008 (UTC)
 * I don't understand "to avoid undercover police...visitors would have to be known or look gay." - Dan Dank55 (talk)(mistakes)


 * When I write an article in my sandbox, it's pretty ragged - much more than what you're used to when I post material in the main space. I understand I have some issues to clean up, which is why I end up tagging my own articles with and  tags. I don't have all the sources I want yet. I haven't read all the sources I have, and my main objective is to write what I'm understanding.


 * The lead is incomplete because the article is incomplete. I tend to write the lead as I go along. Once I think I know exactly everything I'm going to cover, I try to make sure the lead is full, comprehensive, and it has a good hook.


 * I write for many hours at a time, sometimes completely exhausted until 1 in the morning. Toward the later parts of these sessions, my facts and sentences get a little weird, so I end up cleaning them up in another session of read-throughs. It's ok if you don't understand something. Feel free to tag a sentence with  and I'll see if I can clarify it.


 * So feel free to ask, prod, and tag. This will be going to FA at some point. I still need to find images and deal with some other issues. I'm making sausage, but this one is fun. --Moni3 (talk) 22:42, 6 August 2008 (UTC)


 * Sure, that's understood. I think the logical flow is quite good.  I think I can get to the rest tonite. - Dan Dank55 (talk)(mistakes) 23:59, 6 August 2008 (UTC)


 * I don't know what a "powerite" is. - Dan Dank55 (talk)(mistakes) 02:32, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
 * If "And all the sudden" was in the quote, then that needs a [sic]. - Dan Dank55 (talk)(mistakes)
 * "By nearly 4:00 in the morning the streets had nearly been cleared": lose one "nearly" - Dan Dank55 (talk)(mistakes)
 * "Buses and cars were surrounded": I'd reword the whole sentence. - Dan Dank55 (talk)(mistakes)
 * Okay, I got down to Aftermath, I'll stop there. The diff for my edits is http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User%3AMoni3%2FSandbox1%2FWorkspace8&diff=230330358&oldid=230323101 if you want to read it in one diff.  Btw, I prefer WikEd's diff to the standard one, I mentioned this at WT:FAC: "WikEd has a "toggle automatic improved diff" button (to the right of the WikEd off/on button, in the edit screen). It highlights the diff'd chars in a new screen below the normal diff screen...that is, even when you're not in an edit screen. Yay. It even works when WikEd is turned off, i.e., is not the default edit screen. (For anyone who hasn't tried it out yet, WikEd is one of the gadgets in user preferences.)" - Dan Dank55 (talk)(mistakes) 03:12, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
 * I think it's a fun article (just not for me), and will be a great addition. It's very readable. - Dan Dank55 (talk)(mistakes) 03:14, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

Questions on content: One historian, Carter, documents quite well that the Stonewall was going to be closed down that night because the Mafia owners were making more money blackmailing gay Wall Street brokers who frequented the Stonewall, and not kicking it back to the police. His is the most detailed, and... I think only ... documentation of such a reason. Is it worth it to put it in the article text or in a note?

I've consciously cleaned up some of the article, cutting off some full quotes and not including some of the more unsavory details. Specifically, many rioters threatened to rape the police. Several detained demonstrators actually got away by stunning the police by saying stuff like "How would you like that billy club up your little Irish ass?" for example. The article already has more profanity in it than any other I've written (or...maybe read here on Wikipedia). How much of this do I include? Or at all? --Moni3 (talk) 12:41, 8 August 2008 (UTC)


 * This more User:Johnboddie's area than mine, and he says he's interested. I've watchlisted this page on his account. - Dan Dank55 (talk)(mistakes) 15:36, 10 August 2008 (UTC)