User talk:Morbiusgreen/sandbox2

6/6/2019 Evaluation by DrMichaelWright
DrMichaelWright (talk) 11:12, 6 June 2019 (UTC)

This would be a nice little addition to the Palermo article. I hope that you will add it to live Wikipedia, using the following as suggestions for tweaking it.


 * Points: 39/40
 * Grade: 97.5%

Spelling/Grammar
Meets standard.
 * "in the 60's,..." omit the apostrophe. This is a plural, not a possessive.

Language
Meets standard.
 * Your first paragraph offers a list of music venues. Since you have a large number (4+) you might consider having a bullet list, rather than a list in a sentence.
 * Shorter sentences can often be more effective.
 * "During the 19th and early 20th century, Palermo played a big role in contributing many different musical periodicals throughout Italy such as La routa, which ran from 1840 to 1842 and Il corriere dei teatri, which ran in 1866." This sentence can easily be broken up to convey the main point ("During the 19th and early 20th century, Palermo played a big role in contributing many different musical periodicals throughout Italy"). You can then name examples in a second sentence. If you're worried about multiplying your references, don't. There are ways (listed here) to make that look better. Also, if you're drawing from different pages in the source text, you can use inline page numbers to help the reader locate exactly where you're getting your information from.

Organization
Meets standard.

Coding
Meets standard.
 * When something mentioned has a Wikipedia article, such as the International Society for Contemporary Music, it is useful to create a link to it. You did that well with the music halls.

Validity
Meets standard.

Completion
Meets standard.

Relevance
Meets standard.
 * In the paragraph on periodicals, I'm a little puzzled why you mentioned those that had short runs, rather than the ones that had 8-year runs. Were they mentioned as being more significant? (Since the .pdf is not searchable, I am not going to take the time to verify that.)