User talk:MosiurMunna/sandbox

Mosiur Munna's Peer Review by Jamesshe18
After a close examination of your edit you plan to make in the article Child mortality, I think people will get a better understanding of what it is. I liked your idea about talking about different types of child mortality such as prenatal, perinatal, neonatal, infancy, and under 5. It might help to possibly add some sample calculations so people know exactly how the numbers are found. I liked your idea of giving specific examples of child mortality under the causes paragraph, but there are some small edits that may need to be considered. If you plan on mentioning the demographic transition model (DTM), I think that you would have to introduce it first. People who have never heard of the DTM may be slightly confused when they see the abbreviation DTM without any sort of context. You could also add a wiki link to the DTM to make it easier to get some background information. Jamesshe18 (talk) 20:28, 30 March 2018 (UTC)

Additional Comments by Jamesshe18
I think the new changes to the article made it a lot more clear. It was a great idea to add calculations in my opinion. There is one sentence that I think you could considered changing. In your first sentence under causes you added a wikilink to DTM which is great, but you might need to actually say demographic transition model (DTM) so others will know exactly what you are talking about. For the first sentence you could say, "There is variation of child mortality around the world; countries that are in the second or third stage of the Demographic Transition Model (DTM) have higher rates of child mortality than countries in the fourth or fifth stage of the DTM." Overall, you did a great job editing this article. Jamesshe18 (talk) 01:27, 10 April 2018 (UTC)