User talk:Mr. Wick/Grey Griffins Extension based on feed back of PR

Comments from user:Yllosubmarine
First of all, this is a good start. The major problems I can see that would keep it from being promoted to Good Article status (as per the Good Article criteria) is its lack of both comprehensibility (3a) and verifiability (2). Here are some suggestions to help expand:


 * The first sentence (Grey Griffins is a novel series written by American authors Derek Benz and J. S. Lewis) leaves a lot unsaid. What is the genre?  Is it young adult as I'm guessing it is?  Is it Sci-fi, fantasy?  Also, the name of the series does not need a reference.
 * The lead is choppy and fragmented. Per WP:LEAD, the lead section should be an overview of the entire article.  There is currently no publication history info in the body of the article, so you should either create a section that will describe who did the illustrations and what Orchard Books is, or just remove it from the lead entirely for now.  Because it is important info, however, I suggest you do the former rather than the latter.
 * The plot intro in the lead gives no context, and I see none in the body, either. What time does the story take place?  Present day?  Where?  Who are the four members?  Kids?
 * I'm very confused re: the layout of the article itself. What is "Guardian of the Codex", "Society of the Black Wolfs", etc?  I suggest you take a look at other novel series articles such as A Series of Unfortunate Events, which is GA, in order to get an idea of layout.  A Series uses the following basic outline: "Origins", "Plot summary", "Setting", "Recurring themes and concepts", etc.  This would be a good place for you to start.
 * There is currently only one main reference: the Grey Griffins website. In order for the article to be verifiable, it must include reliable, secondary sources.  For plot point details, you can use the books themselves; just cite them correctly using citation templates.  Formatting is a big deal at for Good Articles.  Do a Google search for reviews from reputable sources/websites about the series.  What do critics think of the novels?  How well do they sell?  How popular are they?
 * Speaking of popularity, there is no assertion of the series' importance. Is this just another Harry Potter ripoff, or is it notable in its own right?  What makes this series different, according to reliable sources?

I hope these comments helped. Best of luck,

Lemony Snickets Lead
A Series of Unfortunate Events is a children's book series of thirteen novels written by Daniel Handler under the pseudonym of Lemony Snicket, and illustrated by Brett Helquist. It is about the adventures of three children, the Baudelaire orphans, after the death of their parents in a fire. The setting of the series is anachronistic, and throughout the series there are many literary and cultural allusions. A film adaptation of the first three books in the series was released on December 17, 2004, as Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events,[1] which also had a video game adaptation of the same name based on it.[2] Audio books have been released which included songs by The Gothic Archies, and a compilation album of the songs has also been released.

Plot and Summary for Lemony Snickets
The series follows the adventures of three siblings, Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire, after their parents were killed in a fire at the family mansion. In The Bad Beginning, they briefly live with a friend of their parents, Mr. Poe, who is the person in charge of the Baudelaire fortune after the Baudelaire parents' deaths, before being sent to live with Count Olaf, whom Mr. Poe said is either the siblings' "third cousin four times removed, or their fourth cousin three times removed." The siblings discover that he intends to get his hands on the Baudelaire fortune, which awaits Violet, the eldest child, when she turns eighteen.[5] In the first seven books, Olaf, each time in different disguises, follows the children wherever they go so he can get closer to the orphans and steal their fortune. Their roles switch in the eighth through twelfth books, in which the orphans adopt disguises while on the run from the police after being framed by count Olaf, disguised as Detective Dupin, for the murder of Count Omar (really Jacques Snicket). The Baudelaires routinely try to get help from Mr. Poe, but Poe is always either busy with work, oblivious to the danger Olaf poses, unaware that the disguised Olaf is not who he claims to be or simply thinks the Baudelaires are lying.

Each of the three siblings have a distinctive skill that often helps them during their adventures. Violet is always inventing new things to help them, Klaus is always finding out new information through his research, and Sunny has extremely sharp teeth that can bite almost anything in two.[4] In later books, Sunny learns how to cook, as she begins to grow to the normal size for her teeth so cooking becomes her primary skill. Sunny originally spoke in single word utterances which are often a variety of incomplete sentences, and some short word sentences as well. Their meaning is either disguised by being spelled phonetically (e.g., 'surchmi' in The Slippery Slope), backwards (e.g., 'edasurc' [crusade] in The Carnivorous Carnival) through cultural references (Sunny says: 'Matahari', followed by a definition of 'If I stay, I can spy on them and find out.'), or being written in other languages (e.g., Shalom or Sayonara), but eventually she begins to speak more in complete English sentences, her first possibly being "I'm not a baby.", in The Slippery Slope,[6] or "Like me" in The Vile Village.[7]

Lemony Snicket, the author of the stories and the pseudonym of Daniel Handler, is actually a character himself on the periphery of the stories. He follows the Baudelaires, researching and recording their exploits. Bruce Butt noted in 2002 that in each book a letter from Snicket to his editor is included, presented as exciting updates on Snicket's research into the Baudelaire orphans, which Butt considered to be "the most sly aspect of the way this series has been ingeniously promoted.".[8] Over the course of the series, the Baudelaires learn some vague information about Snicket and possibly meet him briefly in The Penultimate Peril.[9]

Lead
[edit] Content of the lead

[edit] Establish context The first paragraph needs to unambiguously define the topic for the reader. It should establish the context in which the topic is being considered, by supplying the set of circumstances or facts that surround it. For example:

Introduction (essay): "In an essay, an introduction is..." or, Introduction (music): "In music, the introduction is..." It is best to use as few links as possible before the bolded title, to avoid overwhelming the reader. The first paragraph should begin with a straightforward, declarative sentence. Readers knowing nothing at all about the article's subject should immediately find the answer to 'What is it?' or 'Who is he/she?'.

[edit] Provide an accessible overview The lead section should briefly summarize the most important points covered in an article in such a way that it can stand on its own as a concise version of the article. It is even more important here than for the rest of the article that the text be accessible. Consideration should be given to creating interest in reading the whole article. (See news style and summary style.)

In general, specialized terminology should be avoided in an introduction. Where uncommon terms are essential to describing the subject, they should be placed in context, briefly defined, and linked. The subject should be placed in a context with which many readers could be expected to be familiar. For example, rather than giving the latitude and longitude of a town, it is better to state that it is the suburb of some city, or perhaps that it provides services for the farm country of xyz county. Readers should not be dropped into the middle of the subject from the first word; they should be eased into it.

[edit] Etymology and pronunciation Footnotes, quote boxes, or separate sections can be used rather than parenthesis for long encyclopedic dictionary-like information - see Ethics.