User talk:NasEliza/sandbox

Comments on activist article: NasEliza you've improved the page in terms of clarity and referencing. However, some further polishing is required and reworking of some of the structure of sentences, then it would be great if you publish it in the original article. Here are my thoughts on refining your revisions. Need summary sentence after first sentence. Farell be new paragraph

Link to the wikipage for Warren Farrell Reorg Warren Farrell into one section. Put your counter argument (1) beliefs male strength (need reference) and re women as precious (to survival of species) (Mattocks et. al. ) at end of section. with your point that life expectancy and suicide is shaped by many other factors apart from occupational risk (find a reference). The sentance 'Yet, as far as misandry is concerned ..." is not very clear: do you mean the dismissal of male health viz a viz men's is an example of misandry? is that what Cleary argues? Paragraph on Baumeister: overlong quote in original. Could you cut it? Your phrase "very emotive" is not objective. I would put this sentence before the quote, leave out emotive and say Baumeister evaluates historical examples to reinforce arguments about the disposability of men's lives --- quote ... After quote: Baumeister concludes that this disposability can lead to ideas of individual worthlessness. In the C21st. the issue of male mental health has been highlighted by social movements pushing for wider social acceptance of mental health disorders. ... You make a strong point about needing more research about disposability and poor health/suicide needing more research.

Government Policy Would be improved by an initial sentence that a number of commentators have pointed out how misandry also occurs in government policy in terms of stereotypes about men and their behaviour. Then go to refugees followed by hate crime etc. The point about the difficulty of criminalising misandry because it is more about meaning and nuance needs to be brought together. I would put the sentence (As misandry is a social concept ...) as the first sentence of the next paragraph.

Asymmetry and Misognyny: need a reference for the first paragraph. Ideally be good to have a reference for your final sentence in this section JaneHaggis 03:17, 26 October 2019 (UTC)