User talk:Natashacruz12

Comment
Hey Natasha! I think your topic is really fascinating!

First of all, I question the efficacy of putting a definition/discussion of sex work and prostitution as the first paragraph in an article that is specifically about Sex Work in Nepal. Maybe this could be added to the Wikipedia page on Sex Work or put in a later section of this page? I think it would make more sense to open the article with a statement/paragraph that specifies what the current state of sex work in Nepal is.

I have a few grammatical corrections/suggestions: This is the fourth sentence of the article and it is a little redundant - especially with the double use of "imply" - maybe you could re-word it? "Prostitution is the act of selling sex, but it can also imply “a moral judgment, by implying that individuals who sell sex are involved in a practice that is corrupt and so [they] are themselves unworthy[2].”

This is the fifth sentence and it too is a little redundant (especially since the point of avoiding moral judgement has already been made in the previous sentence): The key to saying “sex work” is that it differentiates the voluntary act of selling sex on behalf of the workers from sex trafficking, and it takes out the moral judgment behind the concept of prostitution. Here is my suggested revision: The key to saying “sex work” is that it differentiates between the voluntary act of selling sex from sex trafficking. I think this sentence: There are various forms of prostitution and sex work, and can either be physical or verbal forms. Could be clarified to: There are various forms of prostitution and sex work, including physical and verbal forms. I think this sentence can be cut altogether because it offers no new information and comes off as a little biased: Girls can be easily picked up from dance bars in Kathmandu.

The last two sentences of the first section could be revised as well, here is my suggested version: Another form of prostitution is in cabin restaurants where clients go and drink with girls. Afterwards, clients pick out a girl to go home with and pay her to have sexual encounters with them. Sex workers can work anywhere from the places mentioned above, to brothels, bars, in their homes, or on the streets[3].

I hope that helps a little bit, please feel free to take my suggestions with a grain of salt and disregard any or all of them - I'm not sure if you wrote the first section or if it was already there... either way, it wouldn't hurt to make some edits to it at this point, right?

Lenasilva (talk) 20:25, 10 April 2012 (UTC)

Wikipedia Education Program Student Survey
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FGM
Hi Natasha, could you post a link to the course page that the FGM article is part of? Someone posted two education program templates on the talk page, but the article isn't listed on the first course page, and the second link doesn't work. If you post the link here I'll see it. Many thanks, SlimVirgin (talk) 17:06, 8 April 2013 (UTC)


 * Here is the link to the course page!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Education_Program:Rice_University/Poverty,_Gender,_and_Human_Development_Section_1_(Spring_2013)


 * Thanks, Natasha. SlimVirgin (talk) 19:19, 8 April 2013 (UTC)

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Delivered on behalf of User:Sage Ross (WMF), 17:04, 10 April 2013 (UTC)