User talk:Nathalya Cubas/sandbox

PSY 401 C: Peer Review for Nathalya Cubas
a) Progress: 4

b) I can tell that you've done a lot of work on this article. It's definitely more readable than the last version, and I like that you start with differentiating between the myriad of terms that are similar to self-concept in your introduction.

c & d)

1)	"… collection of beliefs about oneself.[1][2] That includes elements such as academic performance,[3][4][5][6][7] gender…"

2)	Are the hyperlinks in red articles that are not yet created? Is there some Wiki-quirk that makes the link titles all begin with capital letters, no matter their place in the sentence? If not, then make sure all the red links use the proper capitalization.

3)	The wikilinks need to be added so that they lead to other wiki articles. Good job showing which articles you intended on linking!

4)	“… educators’ influences.[21] While other research contends that…” should read “… educators’ influences,[21] while other research contends that…” OR “… educators’ influences.[21] Other research contends that…”

5)	“… same degree as others, and therefore preserving…” should be revised. Maybe “… same degree as others, thereby preserving…”

6)	I would add in a subsection under cultural differences called “identity fusion”, and work the sentence that you weren’t sure about into the “identity fusion” section.

7)	In the gender differences section, you mention gender differences between ethnicities and white populations. Could you list the ethnicities studied? It would be helpful to the reader to have some sense of the difference between ethnicity and race, and whether “white” is a race or ethnicity. (I had to look up that last part… so much for working in the Multicultural House last year! :s)

e) Readability: 4

f) Overall, fantastic job restructuring a large article and giving it away to the public! I especially love the examples you give in many of your parentheticals.

Chelseylandis619 (talk) 02:13, 3 May 2013 (UTC)

PSY 401 C: Peer Review for Nathalya Cubas
Based on Dr. KM's instructions for giving peer review:

(a) Progress #: 4

(b) Much more clearly written, more organized, better flow, and easier to follow than the previous article; very good in differentiating between related yet potentially confusing terms (e.g., self-concept vs. self-awareness)

(c) & (d)

(1) In the paragraph "Self-concept is distinguishable from self-awareness...", it is the first time you mention self-schemas so you might want to define it though you "wikilink" it.

Also, you might want to move the last sentence of the paragraph (the definition of "self-esteem") to before the sentence, "Additionally, self-concept interacts with..." so that at the end of the paragraph, you can say that these (i.e., self-esteem, self-knowledge, etc.) compose The Self.

(2) In the paragraph "The self-concept includes past, present...", third line from top - typo error: "Self-esteem and self-concept are cannot be".

(3) In the section "Models of Self-Concept", you only mention one model so may be "A Model of Self-Concept"?

Also, since the section discusses self-schemas, you can combine this with the above paragraph "self-concept is distinguishable from self-awareness..." where you first mention self-schemas.

(4) In the section "Academic Self-Concept", since it is belief about academic skills and abilities, should it be called "Academic Self-Schema"?

Also, in the first paragraph, I am confused by two terms: "cognitive self-estimates" in the second to last sentence and "other areas of cognitive ability (for example?) in the last sentence.

(5) In the section "Cultural differences", on the fourth line from top, you mention "upward (e.g., positive) and downward (e.g., negative)". Upward and downward comparisons can be both positive and negative so you might want to exclude positive and negative.

You only mention what people do to restore their self-esteem when their self-esteem is threatened. You might also want to include the time when people boost their self-esteem while comparing with others.

I don't think "Note to Editor" portion is necessary. It's redundant.

In the paragraph "A study published in the International Journal...", third line from top - typo error: "valued the interdependent self more that the urban members".

(6) In the section "Gender differences", in the paragraph "Women have often been stereotyped...", in the second to last sentence, you mention that gender differences in self-conscious emotions are greatest among White people while in the last sentence, you suggest more research on gender differences is needed. How can you say that such gender differences are greatest among White people while there is little research to compare across different cultures?

(e) Readability #: 4

(f) Good job! --Kyiphyunyein (talk) 04:47, 28 April 2013 (UTC)