User talk:Natnael yebio

The Culture of eating together Growing up, eating together was one of the most important things my parents thought me. I remember we would all gather around for lunch at the time that was expected of us to do so; otherwise, it was sure Mom would come with her eyes glaring at us. My Grandpa would come around eleven and my Dad will show up exactly half an hour later. This of course was the diurnal routine. Culturally speaking, we are lucky as our eating methods is one that clearly promotes family members to eat together, as we tend to eat in one large dish than eating individually in plates. As of the last decade or so though, we have managed to adapt to eating in plates, most households in the urban areas of Eritrea have taken on to eating separately in different plates. Now am not saying eating in different plates is bad or that it is not our culture, because I am one of those people who grow up eating on my own plate rather than in the traditional one dish for the whole family manner but what has this eating approach caused is less respect for family time. It is quite ordinary to see family members eat alone nowadays. Just the other day, over a conversation with a friend, I told him that I had this idea for an article and asked him, how often his family eats together. His response was “Only on holidays, the other days are like; Dad eats whenever he comes home, my brothers eat while watching the television, and I usually eat in my room watching a movie in my laptop and Mom eats in the kitchen.” This shocked me, as I had only ever known family lunches. It hadn’t occurred that there could be another way. In many countries, mealtime is treated as sacred. In France, for instance, while it is acceptable to eat by oneself, one should never rush a meal. In many Mexican cities, townspeople will eat together with friends and family in central areas like parks or town squares. In India villagers spread out colorful mats and bring food to share with loved ones like a potluck. Eating together was a tradition my Dad and Mom adopted, only with occasional exceptions, is one we all try to maintain today. So what exactly does eating together as a family has bearing? Well, eating together as a family keeps us quite healthy. Eating family meals together is associated with physical health, and we eat together as a means to keep the family healthy. Family lunch or dinner for that matter are time of the day where we can reconnect, leaving behind our individual pursuits like work, playing video games, texting and doing homework. Family time is a time to relax, recharge, laugh, tell stories and catch up on the days up and downs, while developing a sense of who we are as a family. I remember a couple of years back, one night I was having dinner with my family, as usual we were all immersed in an animated and deep argle-bargle about who was going to win the football match that was going to be aired on the television that night. The game was an African final between Cameroon and Senegal. Apart from the football facts, I learned one different thing that night. When I asked my Grandpa why it was that he was going to support Cameroon that night, he said “We have a better political diplomacy with Cameroon than Senegal.” Ever the politician my Grandfather was. These are the kind of things one gets from having frequent family meals together. Eating together can also be an important part of our families’ spiritual health. A world where religious believes are eroding, family lunch time is one way to have the opportunity to create family devotions. So, eating together can help develop that, where we can pray to thank God or Allah for their provisions. This is a critical part of a family’s spiritual training. Day by day and year after year, the kids are exposed to God or Allah through these short times of worship. Food is ritualistic. Family dinner reminds us we’re human and who our kin are. There is kinship and connectivity in eating together, especially for teens. These rituals instil a sense of belonging, of culture and of family values and goals. Our culture bears extended family and thus sharing a meal time with Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and such, ingrains this sense of even further and contributes to the wellbeing of children and adults alike. The most important benefit of eating together can be the fact that parents are “checking in” with their kids and the kids are “checking in” with their parents. As I said my Mom advocates Family meals a great deal, we are obliged to sit together in one table atleast at lunch if not at breakfast or dinner. The thing is I find myself learning new things about my family each and every day and it helps me to deal with them throughout the rest of the day and their lives in a way no other person could. Because of that one time of the day I get to sit down with them and our chats about banal- football and television-often lead to discussions of the serious-of school, social life and also politics. Oh!!! And the all-important table manners!!! If parents don’t teach their kids table manners in family meal time, from whom or where can they expect them to learn it. It is at family meals children learn about manners and etiquette: saying “please”, “thank you” and “May I be excused?” and chewing with their mouths closed. They also learn how to carry on a conversation, which involves listening, and expanding their vocabulary every bit as much as speaking and exchanging ideas and opinions. Children who eat with their parents have less trouble with alcohol and could possibly perform better academically, as parents tend to know what are their kid’s best and worst abilities in school and help them out. “To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art” said the 17th century writer Francoise De La Rochefoucauld. When he meant to eat intelligently, one only needs to eat together. After my grandpa passed away and my Dad a couple of years later, the first thing that always felt different was the dining table. But we kept eating together and it was therapeutic, an excuse to talk, to reflect on the day and on recent events. Eating together was a small act, and it required very little of us, an hour away from our usual, quotidian distractions and yet it was invariably one of the happiest parts of our day. It is incredible what we’re willing to make time for if we’re motivated. Perhaps seeing eating together as an opportunity to De-stress, a chance to catch up with those whom we love, could help our siblings and kids do better in school and be less likely to drink alcohol, why then shouldn’t we be capable of giving up an hour of our day to be with our family in one table and eat good food, whether be it Shiro, Timtimo, Stebhi or Pasta. by Natnael Yebio

Talk:Bars and Brawls
For years I have dreaded going to bars for the reasons that 1. I; Being the oldest in a house of six siblings, I had to be a good example of a brother 2. This particular reason had somewhat made me grow faster than I was supposed to and hence I find it hard to socialize quite easily with my peers and 3. The entertainment bacchanalia at the disposal of young men and women of our generation doesn't seem very much appealing to me. To digress though I am not here to talk about why it is that I am not fond of going to bars but what clearly do Bars represent in every society and what do they seem to symbolize in our present Eritrean society as well. Bars/Pubs are one of societies' oldest and most popular social institutions. Over the years Bars served quite a whole lot of purpose in every society. Bars are more than just private business selling alcohol, more so Bars play an important role at the heart of their communities besides the obvious.

There are few institutions as central to Eritrea's culture and way of life as the Bar. Try to imagine harnet avenuewithout Bar Royal, Maelkel Ketemawithout Bar Diana or Tiravollo without Lion. Outside the home, bars and pubs are the most popular places for Eritrean people of all ages and classes to relax and socialize.

Nonetheless, Bars originality and genuineness in our generation seem to be deprived of their major purpose in social life. Bars are supposed to be a medium of information and a place of intellectual discussions but as of late in our country the opposite is true. Bars have gone from being a pivotal institutional location where people exchanged important information from Bar Nebyat, Bar Tekebash, Bar Hazhaz, Bar Lidia, Bar keren, Bar Kit-Kat, Bar Kennedy, Bar Mocka and so many others during the liberation struggle to being envisaged as merely alcohol selling business firms and a wrestling ring for the drunk.

During the armed struggle Bars served a whole purpose, they facilitated the fight for independence from within enemy territory. Bars such as Bar Silsi situated near Mai Chihot were a place where "Hafash Wudibat" assembled from time to time just as they did in Bar Nebiyat in Mahti Meskerem as well as Bar Hazhaz in Embagaliyano, Bar Hiwunet near the ministry of health, Bar Turkey near Vilajo. These bars served their true purpose of existence and till this day are iconic places.

Today bars are only associated with drinking, fighting and infidelity as opposed to reflecting a place of disconnectedness and a place where political, economic and social cultural ideas are harnessed.

Bars have always been a place where people share news and discuss about it. and there's an unwritten code in most Bars that people are supposed to check their degree at the door. You can find a lawyer, Professor, taxi driver and a farmer all talking about politics, while at the same time indulging the occasional drink and nobody's supposed to pull a rank.

When I asked a friend what he usually does when he goes to a bar, in high spirits he replied " To Drink!!!", predictable answer, "Just to drink?" I retorted, he coolly replied back " And to meet girls of course." Our generation clearly seems to have no clue to the real important purposes bars serve other than Alcohol and a place where you pick up girls.

And it is for this reason's that I can't really see myself go to bars frequently, because the young or even the old people who you expect so much wisdom from have degraded the image of bars. The name itself has been tarnished in great deal.

The other day over a conversation with my mom she brought up a close relative of ours, who used to be a good student." Did you know that Aman is basically wasting his time going to bars and drinking? No wonder he is failing school!" she exclaimed, giving stress to the fact that he is failing mainly due to the reasons that he has resolved to spending his time in bars with a bottle of Gin in his grasp rather than at a library with a text book.When all is said and done, Bars these days are just seen as a place that are ruining the youth's mentality and robbing them of their innocence, at least that is what parents think, if not the youth themselves.

Modern popular lounges among the youth such as Zara, Bar Diana, Sunshine, and Admas portray a different atmosphere; when you are supposed to check your degree at the door; I strongly reckon it didn't mean be unintelligent and daft.

The youth of our generation are merely interested in dressing up, drinking and engaging in gossips of the most depressing sort, where they intend to find out which boy is dating which girl. And are occupied arguing with each other over whether this girl is dating, this guy for his money or vice-versa.

Also there is the all-consuming behemoth that is the football world. Oh! Don’t even get me started on that, because I am one of those people who keeps talking on and on about football when I meet my friends. The truth is when in bars; Alcohol mixed with high running testosterone male sentiment about their football teams is bound to lead to an inevitable fight.

Personally, I like to enjoy the occasional indulgence of such a whim but I don't see the point to doing it every single day and night. The concerning images about our Bars is thus that, our youth seem to squander their precious time drinking as if they lack sagacity.

As of late the most outrageous scene is that the ever increasing number of underage girls one appears to find in bars. It is bewildering! I am not trying to Gender discriminate but any sane human being becomes concerned when they see an underage girl go into a bar and drink as much as her male friends if not more.At any rate that is what is engraved in every bodies heads these days when they think of Bars.

Bars today are intended to be a place where we engage with each other in a more productive conversation, where we are supposed to mature as intellectual human beings outside school and our homes; not intoxicate ourselves with a bottle of Vodka-Tonic, Whiskey and Beer to devastating effects.

When the 19th century German Philosopher and social theorist Jurgen Habermas was explaining the public sphere, he defined public sphere as a sphere of private people coming together to form a "Public" hence form a public opinion that stimulate academic discussions, influence policy makers and enhance development. The tools that were to strength this so called public sphere were many, of which one of those many was the Bar.

So, if bars helped facilitate independence during the armed struggle, why then should they not assist in facilitating development of Eritrea in general and the youth in Specific, in today's independent and prosperous Eritrea?

By Natnael Yebio