User talk:Nickschippers/sandbox

Homework 1:Clarity and Grammar
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/7-Eleven_(disambiguation) This article has some problems with its grammar and sentence structures throughout it. The biggest problem that I saw in this article about 7-11 was in the History section where most the problems that I stated were found dealing with sentence structures, grammatical errors, and punctuation.Nickschippers (talk) 03:23, 6 February 2015 (UTC)


 * Approved. Josef Horáček (talk) 20:54, 7 February 2015 (UTC)
 * Your edits didn't fix any real problems and in some instances actually created new ones (such as the capitalization of "corporation"). Josef Horáček (talk) 17:33, 17 February 2015 (UTC)

Homework 2: Sources
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cajun_cuisine — Preceding unsigned comment added by Nickschippers (talk • contribs) 02:54, 9 February 2015 (UTC)
 * Nice choice. Josef Horáček (talk) 18:17, 10 February 2015 (UTC)

http://eds.a.ebscohost.com.libezp.lib.lsu.edu/eds/command/detail?vid=55&sid=06702bdc-92df-4436-a2a8-b125783b58cb%40sessionmgr4002&hid=4110&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWRzLWxpdmUmc2NvcGU9c2l0ZQ%3d%3d#db=edb&AN=98580203

http://eds.a.ebscohost.com.libezp.lib.lsu.edu/eds/command/detail?vid=56&sid=06702bdc-92df-4436-a2a8-b125783b58cb%40sessionmgr4002&hid=4110&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWRzLWxpdmUmc2NvcGU9c2l0ZQ%3d%3d#db=edsnbk&AN=1534E4C668A37CF8

http://eds.a.ebscohost.com.libezp.lib.lsu.edu/eds/command/detail?vid=58&sid=06702bdc-92df-4436-a2a8-b125783b58cb%40sessionmgr4002&hid=4110&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWRzLWxpdmUmc2NvcGU9c2l0ZQ%3d%3d#db=cat00252a&AN=lalu.3572515

http://eds.b.ebscohost.com.libezp.lib.lsu.edu/eds/folder?sid=66627ccb-1743-4e12-8d1d-56a3504f9d4a%40sessionmgr110&vid=2&hid=111Nickschippers (talk) 15:44, 12 February 2015 (UTC)
 * Good sources. Josef Horáček (talk) 00:54, 17 February 2015 (UTC)

Additional source replacing the last because of the link not working. http://eds.b.ebscohost.com.libezp.lib.lsu.edu/eds/detail/detail?vid=11&sid=5147faf4-399a-409d-841e-e7c795bbed81%40sessionmgr114&hid=126&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWRzLWxpdmUmc2NvcGU9c2l0ZQ%3d%3d#db=cat00252a&AN=lalu.1460463
 * Some of your writing is a bit awkward in style, but the info is there and the sources are good. Josef Horáček (talk) 06:11, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

Assignment 3: The Lead
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Houston_Astros — Preceding unsigned comment added by Nickschippers (talk • contribs) 01:16, 20 February 2015 (UTC) New Lead for Assignment 3: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Williams_(coach) Analysis: This Wikipedia page on Roy Williams(coach) has good structure in the way the context is laid out. The main points have a good amount of quality information in its writing. After reviewing this page I don't have any objections about this page other than in the lead section. The lead section needs to be restructured to give a easier flow to the introduction. Also it needs to give a better summary of the main points points in a clearer and more precise way. Nickschippers (talk) — Preceding undated comment added 04:51, 23 February 2015 (UTC)

Lead Draft
Roy Allen Williams (born August 1, 1950) is a college basketball coach, who is currently the head coach of the men's basketball team at the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. He first started his college coaching career at University of North Carolina as an assistant coach for Dean Smith in 1978. In 1988, Williams became the head coach of the men's basketball team at University of Kansas, where he took them to fourteen consecutive NCAA tournaments, collecting an 80% win percentage, and winning nine conference titles over his fifteen year span at Kansas. In 2003, Williams left Kansas to go back home to be the head coach at North Carolina replacing Matt Doherty. While Williams has been at North Carolina he has won six ACC conference titles, two ACC Coach of the Year awards in 2006 and 2011.He is second all-time for most wins at Kansas behind Phog Allen and at North Carolina behind mentor Dean Smith. Additionally, he is eighth all-time in the NCAA for winning percentage. Williams has over 700 career wins and is the fastest to reach this milestone to date. Williams has taken his teams to seven Final Fours in his careers at Kansas and North Carolina and is one of only two coaches (along with Rick Pitino) in NCAA history to have led two different programs to at least three Final Fours each. On April 4, 2005, Williams shed his title as "the most successful coach to never have won an NCAA ring" as his Tarheels defeated the University of Illinois in the 2005 NCAA championship game. In 2007, Williams was inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame. He would again lead the Tar Heels to another National Championship victory on April 6, 2009 against the Michigan State Spartans in the 2009 NCAA championship game. Nickschippers (talk)
 * Your lead is a big improvement. Just a few minor suggestions: 1. In the first sentence, "college" should be lower case. 2. Spell out all numerals that are one or two words long. 3. Add an internal link to "Final Four." Josef Horáček (talk) 06:18, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

Lead: Final Version
Roy Allen Williams (born August 1, 1950) is a college basketball coach, who is currently the head coach of the men's basketball team at the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. He first started his college coaching career at University of North Carolina as an assistant coach for Dean Smith in 1978. In 1988, Williams became the head coach of the men's basketball team at University of Kansas, where he took them to fourteen consecutive NCAA tournaments, collecting an 80% win percentage, and winning nine conference titles over his fifteen year span at Kansas. In 2003, Williams left Kansas to go back home to be the head coach at North Carolina replacing Matt Doherty. While Williams has been at North Carolina he has won six ACC conference titles, two ACC Coach of the Year awards in 2006 and 2011.He is second all-time for most wins at Kansas behind Phog Allen and at North Carolina behind mentor Dean Smith. Additionally, he is eighth all-time in the NCAA for winning percentage. Williams has over 700 career wins and is the fastest to reach this milestone to date. Williams has taken his teams to seven Final Fours in his careers at Kansas and North Carolina and is one of only two coaches (along with Rick Pitino) in NCAA history to have led two different programs to at least three Final Fours each. On April 4, 2005, Williams shed his title as "the most successful coach to never have won an NCAA ring" as his Tarheels defeated the University of Illinois in the 2005 NCAA championship game. In 2007, Williams was inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame. He would again lead the Tar Heels to another National Championship victory on April 6, 2009 against the Michigan State Spartans in the 2009 NCAA championship game.Nickschippers (talk) 20:05, 3 March 2015 (UTC)