User talk:Nicoleriver/sandbox

Hi Jacqueline, Excellent work on your wikipedia page up to date. I'm glad you see areas in which to improve your chosen articles. This will be a great opportunity for you to infuse your pages with academic sources and journals you have access to through the university. Keep up the good work. -Momo Sumomox4nouchi (talk) 00:26, 8 February 2019 (UTC)sumomox4nouchi

Hi Jacqueline,

Your drafting contributions were very thorough, I felt it to be very concise and adequate for your goals in each section. Good use of sources and made sense in the context of the articles/sections you chose. For your Area article, the presentation of facts had a neutral tone that was effective for the information you communicated, I felt like I had a good overview of the IIRIRA and its further implications. It was organized and drew upon the necessary sources. I think to support the content you have, it may be useful to add a section on controversy/relevant debates surrounding the act. Your last sentence in the section "relief and access to federal services were also redefined for immigrants" leaves questions to the reader in my opinion; possibly elaborate on what this redefinition entails? socially, technically, etc. For your Sector article, because it is less explanatory of a particular act/law, it reads a bit more like an essay. Because you speak on the effects/implications of the experiences I think it would be effective to title your section as such (like you mentioned in your draft). There are some moments where you mention how things "vary" or something "affects" another where further specification will help strengthen the stylistic tone for the article. I hope this helps! let me know if you have any questions. - Shiraz (sdevreede@berkeley.edu) — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sdevreede (talk • contribs) 20:52, 4 April 2019 (UTC)

Responding to Peer Review
Hi Shiraz, Thank you for your thorough feedback. You brought up on some points or observations that I hadn't thought of from a writer's point of view, so I found that to be really useful. After finishing my draft for my area section and letting it sink in, I was worried about the tone I used. Whether it was informative and non-biased so I appreciate you commenting on this. I will have to think about how to go about talking about the debates/controversy of IIRIRA. I think this information could be useful for a reader and add to the neutrality of the piece by presenting both sides. I also agree with your suggestion of the reader possibly having more questions that I can answer in terms of the relief and resources for immigrants prior/post IIRIRA. I have a good idea of what source to use for this. Your point on using specification to improve my stylistic tone for my sector are is useful. I do have trouble avoiding the "essay-like" style. I hope to work on the latter some more. - Jackie Nicoleriver (talk) —Preceding undated comment added 04:42, 11 April 2019 (UTC)