User talk:Nolanjc97/sandbox

Dear Nolan,

Your work on Citizens Assembly shows a very strong understanding of the material. I think you have selected well the content gap that may not be quite conspicuous in the original article to strengthen it even further. My sense is that your addition provides an even more well-rounded understanding for the Wikipedians by synthesizing further historical and contemporary works into the article.

Delving in more specifically, I think one potential area of improvement is your usage of quotation in your contributions. Now, this completely contingent upon different styles of writing, but I think for Wikipedia articles, the less direct quotes employed the easier the article is to process. I know I have not done this well in my article, but I will certainly work towards it. I think given that your work is very strong, this is just another step that you can take to further polish your contribution.

Another food for thought is how to structure your contribution in a way that perhaps further reflects the subject of our class, the philosophy of science. Since our topics (Citizens Assembly and Participatory Democracy) are not as directly pertinent to the philosophy of science as others, I think this can be another way to strengthen your work and the original article. Although I see that there is a bit included in the lead section, I think inquiring where political philosophy can be further included is another way to approach your work.

All in all these are suggestions to polish what is already a great piece of work in my view. I hope that my commentary can help your work progress further!

Minseungyoo (talk) 03:30, 4 April 2019 (UTC)