User talk:Npearso2/sandbox

=Prague Evaluations=

6/08/2019 3rd Peer Review by Sasha-urban
Spelling: the protection of socialism The Warsaw Pact officially disbanded on 1 July 1991 at a meeting in Prague, and the Czech-German Declaration of Historical Reconciliation was signed in Prague on 20 January 1997 (added a comma)

Language: The phrase “demonstrations were called by human rights groups” seems a little unclear, specifically the meaning of the word called, maybe rephrase. Maybe it’s just me, but your dates seem to be phrased oddly: I would say “November 17,1989” rather than “17 November 1989”. Is there a reason you are using “theatre” instead of “theater”?

Organization: I would add a quick sentence at the beginning summarizing exactly what the Velvet revolution was.

Coding: You could probably link some of the terms when you use them the first time. Most of the time I see the citation after the punctuation.

Validity: Meets standard

Completion: “dissent was rooted in the decades before”, maybe specify what dissent in the decades before, it was a bit unclear to me what this phrase meant. “In 2004, disagreement between political parties on how to commemorate the 15th anniversary of the Velvet Revolution escalated and echoed the events of 17 November 1989.” How exactly did it echo these events? Maybe specify.

Relevance: Meets standard

Sources: Good sources!

Citation: 3 and 13 are the same source, if I am not mistaken

References: Meets standard

6/09/2019 3rd Peer Review by Elaina DH
Spelling: there are some spelling errors, "protection socialism"

Language: In general, the flow is awkward, and you should smooth out the writing with a close edit in your next draft.

Organization: I know this is Wikipedia, but the Velvet Revolution was really a big deal in Prague. We visited there last year, and people see it as the start of their present happy living condition. Could you somehow convey this in your article?

Coding: Citations should be after the punctuation, according to our professor.

Validity: good

Completion: A little more background about the Prague spring would help.

Relevance: good

Sources: your sources are solid

Citation: good

References: good

Spelling/Grammar
Exceeds standard: looks great to me.

Language
Meets standard: Overall, a great use on encyclopedic tone.

Organization
Exceeds standard: easy to read and follow. Thank you for tell me via the discussion post where to find your new article.

Coding
Exceeds standard: looks great, I am impressed by the amount of information you used without adding any media. One side note here:  "privatization to be traded.[15] :104" not sure if the :104 was meant to be after this citation, not sure if you did this or if it is Wikipedia formatting.

Validity
Meets standard: great information to add to the limited text that was previous on the page. I hope that you submit your additions to the main page.

Completion
Exceeds standard: You start at the beginning and wrap up the chain of events nicely and keep again, a good encyclopedic tone throughout.

Relevance
Meets standard: It seems do you did a great job expanding upon what limited information was available on the original page.

Citation
Meets standard: good use of citation throughout your article. I am impressed that you did not double up on a lot of sources. Great job! However there is an odd formatting here "privatization to be traded.[15] :104" I;m not sure if you meant for the :104 to appear next to this citation.

6/13/2019 Evaluation by DrMichaelWright
DrMichaelWright (talk) 18:13, 13 June 2019 (UTC)

This is really good! Below are a few things that you could iron out before you implement what you've written on Wikipedia. There are probably some other examples of edits that I missed, but if you take the examples that I mention, think of other cases where my critique may hold as well.
 * Points: 40/40
 * Grade: 100%

Spelling/Grammar
Meets standard.
 * Communism should not be capitalized.
 * "...and theatre participants that gathered." Use perfect past rather than simple past: '...had gathered.'

Language
Nearly meets standard. "...but the protection of..." Perhaps a better word. Try: 'maintenance' or 'continuation'.
 * "A standoff between demonstrators and riot police was deliberate by revolution organizers..." Passive voice. It is better to phrase it in a more active voice. "Revolution organizers, whose principal ideal was nonviolence, deliberately instigated a standoff with riot police..."
 * "...did not last long..." This seems subjective and unclear.
 * "...and the protesters were brutally assaulted by the special police." Again passive voice. Try: "The Special Police assaulted the protesters in a short standoff." (Brutal may be true, but is not neutral language.)
 * "...extreme police..." again, non-neutral language.
 * "...first free democratic elections..." Non-neutral language. There are those who would argue for the 'freedom' of previous elections, and against the 'freedom' of current elections. Perhaps describe how the elections were different, before and after.

Organization
Meets standard.

Coding
Meets standard.
 * The Velvet Revolution already has an article. There should at least be a wikilink, but better still would be a tag to create a Main Article link ahead of the text.
 * There are a lot of terms not earlier in the article, which should have wikilinks. For example: 'Narodni Trida' and Wenceslas Square.

Validity
Meets standard.

Completion
Exceeds standard.
 * Wow, there's a lot here!

Relevance
Meets standard.
 * In your first paragraph, it is unclear if those ~30 demonstrations were just in Prague, or country-wide. Going to your source, it is clear that the latter is true. While the context is worthwhile, it is important to specify this. I think there are some other cases where this may be true too.

Prague Response by Npearso2
The current Prague page is British English and I am writing to match it, hence theatre versus theater. Also, the dates on the current page are formatted as I have written. Good question! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Npearso2 (talk • contribs) 02:30, 11 June 2019 (UTC)

= Genoa Evaluations =

4/23/2019 Evaluation by Elaina Dresner-Hoffman

 * 1.1.1 Spelling/Grammar
 * 1.1.2 Language
 * 1.1.3 Organization
 * 1.1.4 Coding
 * 1.1.5 Validity
 * 1.1.6 Completion
 * 1.1.7 Relevance1.
 * 1.1.8 Sources
 * 1.1.9 Citations
 * 1.1.10 References

Points: 39/40 Grade: 98

Spelling: perfect

Language: almost perfect, "maintained" should be "maintaining"

Organization: Meets standard

Coding: Meets standard

Validity: Meets standard

Completion: Terse, could add another sentence about role in history, but Meets standard

Relevance: Meets standard

Sources: Meets standard

Citation: Meets standard

References: Meets standard

4/24/2019 Evaluation by KStein91

 * Points: 42.5/40
 * Grade: 106%

Spelling/Grammar
Exceeds standard: great job!

Language
Meets standard: I want more detail on the "significant role" that Genoa has played throughout history.

Organization
Exceeds standard: very easy to read and follow.

Coding
Exceeds standard: looks great!

Validity
Meets standard: Again, wanting more detail. See comments under language and relevance.

Completion
Meets standard: good job finding sources and making a paragraph on a well developed page.

Relevance
Meets standard: I think there should be more detail about the significant role that Genoa played. Maybe link out to the times in history that you are talking about.

Citation
Exceeds standard: but still look into citing out to maybe the Black Death page or a page about the trading station.

4/24/2019 Evaluation by Sasha-urban
Spelling: perfect

Language: almost perfect, agreed maintained=> maintaining

This sentence: "Genoa played a significant role in many occurrences in history" doesn't do much for me. What does that mean? What role has it played?

Organization: Meets standard

Coding: Meets standard

Validity: Meets standard

Completion: Meets standard

Relevance: Meets standard

Sources: Meets standard

Citation: Meets standard

References: Meets standard

5/7/2019 Evaluation by DrMichaelWright
DrMichaelWright (talk) 16:05, 7 May 2019 (UTC)


 * Points: 36/40
 * Grade: 90%

Spelling/Grammar
Meets standard.

Language
Nearly meets standard.
 * "...by birth,..." is a bit anthropomorphic. Was there no fishing village there before it became a merchant city? Was it built from the ground up by the merchants of the republic? The History of Genoa suggests that there was more to it.

Organization
Nearly meets standard.
 * The text seems to need reform in order to have chronological order to it.

Coding
Meets standard.

Validity
Meets standard.

Completion
Meets standard.

Relevance
Meets standard.
 * This is the good starter for a necessary history section on this page! It will give other people material to flesh out further.

5/16/2019 Evaluation by Elaina Dresner-Hoffman
The spelling and grammar is nearly perfect. The information is very interesting. The first sentence needs some changes for better flow. A definition of what courtly poetry was would be helpful. Link Occitan a bit better with the previous section,. I do not see any coding errors. Good The information appears solid. However, as you say you think it needs more work, probably this will improve. It seems to bne largely complete. I think it is missing information still. It is relevant, and could be made more so if you expand the last sentence. Your sources seem to be of good quality Citations are correct References are formatted correctly
 * 1.1.1 Spelling/Grammar
 * 1.1.2 Language
 * 1.1.3 Organization
 * 1.1.4 Coding
 * 1.1.5 Validity
 * 1.1.6 Completion
 * 1.1.7 Relevance1.
 * 1.1.8 Sources
 * 1.1.9 Citations
 * 1.1.10 References

5/17/2019 Evaluation by KStein91
KStein91 (talk) 18:43, 17 May 2019 (UTC)
 * Points: 42/40

Spelling/Grammar
Exceeds standard: great job!

Language
Meets standard: keeps the same tone throughout.

Organization
Exceeds standard: easy to read and follow.

Coding
Exceeds standard: looks great!

Validity
Meets standard: solid information.

Completion
Meets standard: looks great.

Relevance
Meets standard: good job adding interesting material about the history of language.

Citation
Meets standard: good use of citation throughout.

Spelling/Grammar
Should Langue d'Oc be capitalized? France and its commonwealth. A language unto itself.

Language
Seems good to me.

Organization
Good organization.

Coding
Seems good, you could probably link the Toubon Act.

Validity
Meets standard.

Completion
Meets standard.

Relevance
Meets standard.

Citation
Meets standard.

6/6/2019 Evaluation by DrMichaelWright
DrMichaelWright (talk) 16:13, 6 June 2019 (UTC)

I really like that you're tackling the language of Marseille as not just French. I think would be a great addition to Wikipedia. Below are some suggestions to tighten it up.
 * Points: 40.5/40
 * Grade: 101.25%

Spelling/Grammar
Meets standard.
 * "...and it's Commonwealth..." omit apostrophe. 'It's' is a contraction of 'it is' or 'it has'. For the possessive, you do not use the apostrophe.

Language
Meets standard.
 * "Language in Marseille and the region of southern France it inhabits is considered to be of cultural and historical significance in Medieval Europe, with written evidence of regional language dating back to the 10th century." It seems to me here that the use of the word 'language' should be specified more. I take it that you mean something more specific than 'the fact that people speak'. Perhaps you should refer to the idea that you're talking about specific language or dialect.
 * "The languages of France are diverse and no exception is made for Marseille." Strange passive voice. Try this: 'France is linguistically diverse and Marseille is not an exception.'

Organization
Meets standard.
 * This section would fit nicely under 'Culture' on the Marseille article. As such, I would make this a level-3 header ( ===Language=== )
 * The first two sentences seem out of place where they are. While each paragraph does not deserve its own header, it's still a good idea to write as if your paragraphs do have headers, and they need to stick to a certain subject.

Coding
Meets standard. Hyperlinks should be placed at the first instance of a term within its text. langue d'Oc appears in the 3rd sentence, and then hyperlinked in the 5th. It would be good to have a and  links under the header.

Validity
Meets standard.

Completion
Meets standard.

Relevance
Meets standard.