User talk:Nzwriter

Derek Hilton
Hi, I was reviewing your article, here are some suggestions. The article needs to read more like an encyclopedia, state facts rather than describe them, for example, "...he was persuaded to join the band", should be "...he joined a band". You need to cite more references that are reliable and make sure the links are active. Otherwise it is a great effort. Thank you.Adyoo3 (talk) 00:59, 13 May 2015 (UTC)