User talk:Oblitz1/sandbox

Oblitz1

Women’s Pornography Producers Peer Review

•	Good Citations

•	I was a little confused with the wording and order of sentences in the first paragraph.

o	Maybe give a little more of an introduction just to state what the article will be talking about overall

o	State a clear statement of what the article is about, because I was unsure of what the article would be talking about.

o	Whether it is the producers of women’s pornography, or women pornography

•	Anti-pornography feminists and pro-pornography feminists was an interesting topic

o	You could say a few more things about each to show how they differ in some aspects

What woman’s pornography looks like

•	Good structure in both paragraphs

•	Towards the end it starts to sound a little bit like an argument

o	“Not being slandered and disrespected by a man is what woman’s pornography is supposed to look like. Woman’s pornography is real. Its real connections and real orgasms between two people.”

•	This is saying how woman’s pornography is better and this paper is supposed to be neutral

Individualist Feminism and Pornography

•	Very Good

•	Check for grammatical errors

Overall, the article is very good and well written. However, I would add an introduction and a conclusion just to sum up the article. It was just a little confusing of what the overall topic was; it just jumped into these three different topics about pornography. Other than that, very good use of citations and very well written.

Eberg18 (talk) 14:45, 27 October 2015 (UTC)

I emailed the peer review to Liam Ldutre2 (talk) 14:50, 27 October 2015 (UTC)