User talk:Ojobson/sandbox

Rewrite of the article located here: Draft:Unipart Group
FXDN submitted a rewrite of the Unipart article to AfC, disclosing his/her COI:


 * To be clear and transparent I am an employee of Unipart Group and as such I am reluctant to make these changes to this article because of Wikipedia's COI policy. I have no interest in changing the tone of the article or making any controversial edits, however I am keen that the article is more informative and is factually correct as Wikipedia is a respected reference source. As such I would like to invite any editor who is watching this page to make appropriate edits to ensure the factual accuracy of the information. I have added material and also included the existing text below with a significant increase in the number of citations. I hope that this will make it easy for an editor to cut and paste the material below into the existing page.

I'm posting the link here, as it's the appropriate place for a COI editor to suggest changes to the article. For the record, I've gone through the references, citations, and tone, and everything's in order. JSFarman (talk) 20:54, 30 May 2014 (UTC)


 * If everything is in order then I will move the changes from the rewritten draft to the talk section (since it is the appropriate place for these) in order to highlight the proposed changes, step by step: Ojobson (talk) 15:57, 2 July 2014 (UTC)

New Introduction Proposed

 * This is the current introduction:Ojobson (talk) 15:57, 2 July 2014 (UTC)

''Unipart Group is a multinational logistics, supply chain, manufacturing and consultancy company headquartered in Cowley, Oxfordshire, England. It has operations in Europe, North America, Australia and Japan and works across a variety of sectors that include automotive, rail, marine and leisure. ''

Originally part of the state-owned conglomerate British Leyland, Unipart is now employee-owned and is one of the largest privately owned companies in the UK.


 * Here is the revised introduction for the page:Ojobson (talk) 15:57, 2 July 2014 (UTC)

''Unipart Group is a multinational logistics, logistics management, supply chain, manufacturing and consultancy company headquartered in Cowley, Oxfordshire, England. It has operations in Europe, North America, Australia and Japan and works across a variety of sectors that include aerospace, automotive, consumer products, retail, mobile phones, technology, rail, health, marine and leisure. ''

''The company offers a range of services include warehousing, inventory management, E-fulfillment, aftermarket supply chain, reverse logistics, engineering support, repair, transportation, and business support. ''

''In 2011 50.1% of Unipart Automotive parts business was sold to H2 Equity Partners for an undisclosed sum. ''

''Unipart is employee-owned and is one of the largest privately owned companies in the UK. It is ranked as one of the UK’s Top Track 100 private companies. ''


 * I am procedurally closing this edit request because it is redundant with Talk:Unipart. The edit request may be discussed or accepted there instead. Frieda Beamy (talk) 20:00, 18 July 2014 (UTC)