User talk:Oliviaohearn/sandbox

Great overall beginning to your contribution to this article. I really appreciate you putting in a part on Europe to help complete wikipedia. I do agree with some classmates that say that you could benefit from adding other examples of countries and their own gun laws which greatly affects their arms trafficking. Also, check your first link in your references, it seems to have an issue " Arsovska, Jana (2014-9). "Introduction: Illicit Firearms Market in Europe and Beyond". European Journal on Criminal Policy and Research. 20 (3): 295–305. doi:10.1007/s10610-014-9254-6. ISSN 0928-1371. Check date values in: |date= (help)". Carlapicasso (talk) 13:24, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Oliviaohearn,

The Europe section is headed in the right direction and supports the article on arms trafficking with citations. There are some portions I take issue with for various reasons, which are as follows:

I am not sure how effective the sources used for this section were for arriving at a place where you have both a better understanding of the arms trafficking situation in Europe and presenting the key information. When I read my articles, I immediately use Command F to find key words like analyze or analysis for information that is worth including or noteworthy.

I think the overview of Europe is quite narrow in its focus on what the EU has not done to resolve the problem. I want to know what they have done and if it worked or not... maybe even have some statistics to back up a "model" nation or case study where a country had success in reducing arms trafficking activity.

Last thing to remember is that Wikipedia, or Chicago Style, citations always have the number outside of the punctuation, different from MLA.

Regards, Rapidrider Rapidrider (talk) 17:45, 30 March 2019 (UTC)

Olivia, I think that this is a great start to your contribution, you stay on task very well here and do a very good job of focusing strictly on the European aspect of arms trafficking. Something that you might want to add since you touch on it slightly, is Europe's current gun laws for citizens. I tend to agree with Nick in that i think that your article could benefit from using another country as an example that may have had success in reducing arms trafficking. i think your sources are used well here and linked accordingly. All in all, i think this is a great start! keep up the good work

Casey518 (talk) 20:05, 31 March 2019 (UTC)Casey O'Connor

I think this is a great start and reads well! In the last sentence, I would find another way to write "in about 2000" as it might sound better written out a different way. Cbettica65 (talk) 13:04, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Great start! I believe that this looks good enough for now! Bokyung0327 (talk) 13:14, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

You did a good job of introducing the problem in Europe. You should add more details to give readers a more clear view. Robertpark1999 (talk) 13:27, 3 April 2019 (UTC)robertpark1999

Hi Oliva,

You have a very good start to your page! I liked how you explained where you're going to insert your paragraph. Just wanted note that one of your sources shows an error. Miaeschlidt (talk) 13:31, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Really good job focusing on Europe, I really liked your use of citations and references. I would add some more pictures to demonstrate what is happening here. Good job overall!!Henrykuv (talk) 17:06, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

(start of new section in wikipedia page, going between 1.2 Africa and 1.3 Market Value)

The first sentence is awkwardly worded. Also, it may be cool and helpful to add why imports are high in these countries. Fields18x (talk) 23:39, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

I think this a very good state for your paragraph to be in. One thing that might be good to mention is what arms trafficking was like before 1996 and before people were taking a larger notice about it. Sophieb905 (talk) 00:33, 4 April 2019 (UTC)

I like the use of key words, but adding more sources would be nice as well as showing some more examples about how other countries involved. Also, if you add some visuals. Benitalukose (talk) 02:27, 6 April 2019 (UTC) Benita Lukose