User talk:Open267

The Testimony of a man named Kevin Carey When I was in prison (for 10 years) I went thru a lot of changes. When you first get "in" you are angry at everyone and everything. After no one came to visit me I realized I was the problem. I swore I would never become one of those "prison bible thumpers" that is only saved in prison, and then the minute they walk out the door the bible goes in the trash. I did end up doing some serious soul searching though. I studied Buddhism. I read the Koran. I went to Catholic services, Seventh Day Advents services, Native American, and on and on. Nothing worked, nothing felt right. So after going to the "hole", I read the whole Bible. I had nothing else to do. I wanted more. Then one day I found a magazine in the trash. The Magazine was called Ensign. It had a large picture of Jesus on it, and the whole magazine was about Christ. I fell in love with it. I loved what it said. So I went looking for members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I asked around and someone told me "Yea, they are The Mormons". Finding "Mormons" in prison is not an easy task. Then a guy told me there was a "Mormon" that worked down at the prison library. It ended up being a guy I couldn't stand, and he couldn't stand me. I walked up to him and he said to me in a not so ‘nice way’. "What do you want?" I showed him the magazine and said that I wanted to learn about it. He looked at me and said "Are you serious? You better not be messin with me." I said “I’m serious.” and he looked at me and said "Really?” When he saw I was serious, he changed. His face and whole body changed in an instant. Then he smiled and said “I would love to. Come with me." He took a copy of the Book of Mormon off the shelf and began to tell me about it. A lot of what he told me at the time made no sense. He also gave me the address to Correctional Services in Salt Lake City. I wrote to them about topics over the years that were on my mind and heart. The one that sticks out in my mind was a book on forgiveness. One day I requested a Bible study from them and what I got was a home seminary study guide to the Book of Mormon. I wrote them back and told them I had no Book of Mormon (this was years later after talking to the library worker). The Book of Mormon didn't change me at first, but it always seemed to be there in hard times, and trust me there were a lot of hard times in prison. As my interest grew in the Book of Mormon, and in the "Mormon" faith I began seeking out other "Mormons" in prison, and when I did find them. They all had the same look on their face when I asked them about their faith. It was a look of loss, and of longing, pain, and a general “man I screwed up”. I wanted whatever it was that had caused them to feel that way. It had to be good, it had to be great, and it had to be real. I wanted to know why Mormons always walked around with a smile on their faces. But what really did it for me was almost dying in prison from pneumonia. I was so sick. I had gotten to the point where I knew I was going to die, so I made my peace with God. I told him that “hey there are things I want to do in this world, amends I need to make, people I hurt that I need to say sorry to, but God if you are going to take me, I accept that.” I was at peace with that, I was at ease, and have been ever since. There were times in prison where my sorrow were so strong because of my guilt for the things I had done in this life, I wanted God to destroy me and my soul. Much like Alma in the book of Alma Chapter 36. Verses 12 & 15 which really spoke to me. I wanted to be a better person, I wanted to give back. I wanted to make amends. The Book of Mormon has changed me in so many ways. My parents, who hate religion, support my choice to join the church, because they say they like the changes it has made in me. I love my life now. I want to keep inspiring others. I didn't at first. I wanted to find a hole and crawl in it when I got out of prison. Lay low, go to church, pay taxes, and get a job, normal things. Instead I am exposed, helping others with my acts and my testimony. -Kevin Carey