User talk:PaddysGimp

So what is a PaddyGimp
A PaddyGimp is a legendary creature not known for its magnificience but rather the amount of cringe it can induce upon its prey, the average human can endure roughly two jokes from the PaddyGimp after which death or suicide is a welcomed option.

Where is a PaddyGimp found
This is essential for an increased percentage of survival. Your average PaddyGimp is a nocturnel being and hangs out in sociable areas such bars, clubs even pubs especially ones located near roundabouts. Though through evolution your modern PaddyGimp has adapted to stand direct sunlight via a special costume that is known to come in only one colour: black (something that also attracts large vermin such Morgansaurs). This blackness allows PaddyGimps to infiltrate society and pose as normal humans when in actual fact they are instilling an atmosphere of cringe which allows them to become a parasite of a new host easier.

Identifying a PaddyGimp
This is fairly easy as PaddyGimps have many noticeable traits that are easily noticed with vigilant eyes. The first as mentioned will be its outdoor skin of pure black to absorb the suns rays which may shine light on their bleeding hearts. Another common trait is that PaddyGimps tend to have the worst hairstyles known to man but take more care of it than AIDS on African people, this can be noticed by their fpm (flicks per mintute) an adult PaddyGimp can produce up to 20 fpm which is about 5fpm faster than the current world record holder Sir Alex. PaddyGimps try not attract unwanted attention since they may max out their cringing limits too fast in order to relieve attention PaddyGimps may attack this may be through numerous methods which leads on to the next section

PaddyGimps Attack!
Their most common attack is the palm thrust which also comes in the variation of leaping palm for jumping attacks, at first glance this attack may seem deadly but looks can be decieving, the PaddyGimps also have a hidden ability to sprout cards from their backs and throw them at blinding speeds to create minimal to no damage. The most deadly attack in their arsenal is the goblinkick which comes has the ability to cause slight contusions to even some large bruises

I want to meet a PaddyGimp
If you are feeling suicidial or maybe want to get revenge on someone for murdering your family or raping your children there is one sure way of attracting PaddyGimps since there is one object they crave above all others, and that is a lip-ring which grant the PaddyGimps further special powers such as the ability to fit into the homosexuality crowd.

April 2007
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