User talk:Pah0506/Aunti Poldi and the Sicilian Lions

Review and Suggestions
I read your wiki page and I have a some comments and suggestions. I liked that you all put the ISBN number of the book and which one is next in the series. Maybe include the original language before translation in there info box as well. I also liked how you talked about his Bavarian language background and its parallel to Auntie Poldi's nature. The layout and structure looks very neat and visually appealing.

In the Issues in Italian Culture section, you guys have a citation written in the text that I think you might have meant to make a link to the reference section. Also, if you could clarify which police section belongs to which area, it would make it clearer for the readers. For the inspiration section, it would also be good to say who his inspirations were specifically for his characters, if you can find them in your source. Also, why was the author's younger self an inspiration? (I'd recommend expanding on those subsections a little more but that is more just to get a better understanding of why these issues play a role.)

There are also a few times in the plot summary where it reads like we should already know that detail (until later in the sentence when it is clarified; ex. the first time Russo is mentioned, we don't know who that is until a few sentences later.) Some of this is nitpicking, so please take my suggestions with a grain of salt. Yoss22 (talk) 02:42, 1 April 2023 (UTC)


 * I'll add my peer review notes here. I think y’all are doing well on your page so far! I only have a couple of spots where I would change or add something. To start, I think your lead sounds solid. You touch on every subheading in it except for the reception, though; so if you were so inclined, a sentence about readers’ reactions to the book could round it out. The overall content and chosen sections looked good to me. I feel like there maybe could be more information about the different police forces and why it was such an issue that Auntie Poldi accidentally involved them both. No current content seems out-of-place or unnecessary, though.
 * I thought the tone in your article was nice and neutral; nothing jumped out to me as being biased or filtering in anyone’s opinion. I thought y’all did a good job at that. I thought y’all had some good sources too, considering the difficulty of finding sources for a recently translated novel. All of your links work. Are there any more sources y’all could use, though, that would give a wider impression of the book’s reception?
 * I thought the writing was overall clear and concise. I did have a couple issues in the plot summary; toward the end, the poet Hölderlin is told to be shot. I found this very confusing, because previously he was not really talked about as a physically present character, more of just like a figure Mimi looked up to. If he was present at the party or elsewhere, an indication of that would be helpful. There were also a few grammatical errors I noticed (I can list them out in a separate post if you would like). Other than that, I thought your article was well-structured and nicely organized.
 * I liked the picture y’all added of the setting! It really helped to visualize where exactly all of this is happening. It looks like it adheres to Wikipedia’s copywrite regulations, and I think its inclusion in the section about Italian culture is good. For the book’s infobox, you could add its translation date alongside its publication date, and maybe the novel’s setting. Aside from that, it looks great! Glassgardens (talk) 19:46, 1 April 2023 (UTC)

The info box might need a little more information such as the original language and potentially other relevant information. I would also recommend moving it up so the top is within the lead section. Other than that, the infobox and picture look great. The lead looks good overall as well.

In the plot summary, I would consider changing the word “guy” in the third-to-last paragraph since it comes across as a bit informal. It might be important to add some context in the second-to-last paragraph about Hölderlin being an actual character within the story rather than simply a poet (unless this is meant to say a different name).

For the inspiration section, I would recommend keeping the entire section past tense rather than keeping some of it in the present tense. The issues section looks like it is getting there but is incomplete when writing this. What is there is looking good so far. The reception section is good but brief. It might be good to add another review of the book if you can find one. Overall the page is looking good, just needs some touching up and some expansion of the issues section. Noahnjt (talk) 23:02, 1 April 2023 (UTC)

I like the blurb at the top but feel it could include the year the original book was published. It says the translation was in 2018, but I think it could help to also state the year the original came out.

I thought the summary was generally good, though I have just a couple of very nitpicky things. In the section involving Maria and “the guy” who wrote love letters, he is continually referred to as “the guy” or “this guy,” which to me sounds a bit informal; I would recommend changing it to “the man” or the name of the love letter writer. It is also a bit confusing as that whole plotline is sort of just thrown in there. I think there could also be a quick definition of a gelateria, because the link takes me to a page on gelato. I’m assuming it is a person who makes gelato, but it was still a little time consuming and confusing to check.

I thought the inspiration and issues section were well done as well. My only (again very small and nitpicky) thing is that it would be nice for a small definition or translation of Carabinieri right after the word; you have one for the Polizia di Stato, and I think the symmetry would be good.

Reception could probably be longer, but I don’t know if you are finished with that section yet.

Overall, WOW! This was a very well done and professional wikipedia page. I kind of want to read this book now, not gonna lie. Y’all slayed! Stamp of approval from me! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Chorky14 (talk • contribs) 14:49, 2 April 2023 (UTC)