User talk:Patel4r5

Welcome!
Hello, Patel4r5, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:46, 12 September 2018 (UTC)

Hi Richa, I have drafts on my sandbox and is ready to post to the article. Would you please help to take a look and let me know if you have any additional thoughts or recommendations? Thanks and appreciate your time!

Jessica Jessicaatwiki (talk) 18:09, 13 November 2018 (UTC)

Feedback
The topic you're interested in counts as a medical topic on Wikipedia, so you need to make sure that you're using sources that follow the sourcing guidelines for medical content. For the most part, you should be relying on recent systematic review articles. The only source you're using that comes close is the CDC, and even that isn't ideal.

You're writing an encyclopedia article, and it's important to get the tone right. Just stick to the facts. For example, in your opening paragraph


 * 1) You can omit these words without losing any real information.
 * 2) Saying "much more" isn't sufficiently specific. If you want to say something, say how much - use actual numbers
 * 3) You should avoid "therefore" because this implies that you're drawing a conclusion for your readers. Wikipedia articles don't do this - they aren't mean to convince the reader, just inform them.

You should avoid bullet points except for actual lists. Use sentences and paragraphs. Bullet points are useful reminder in situations where everyone knows what you're talking about, or in a talk, where you'll go into more detail. They aren't very helpful when the reader doesn't know more. Paragraphs are much easier to read, and are more informative. If you do use them, you need to make sure that each one has its own supporting citation.

You also need to make sure that you link terms that the average reader might want to learn more about. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:58, 16 November 2018 (UTC)