User talk:Patricka Daley/sandbox

What Was done well about the article? The article began with the heading Gender Theory in ‘Anancy an Ticks’, ‘Anancy an Smoke-pork’ and ‘Bra Nancy and Tiger’, by highlighting the origin of Anancy and the different forms or combinations he is illustrated as within folklore, hence introducing the readers to the origins of Anancy. The editor then introduces Louise Bennett, the Jamaican author of the Anancy stories while introducing to the readers the different topics that is expected in the article. The article then shifted to the heading of Background, where they focused on Louise Bennett’s Background, which showcased her initial stage of being a writer to legacy and accolades, she had built and accomplish for herself. The Article reflected on the history of the patois language and the emotions, the Jamaican people had towards it. The next topic of the article is the Stories Summary. A summary of the three different short stories is discussed, the first story ‘Anancy An Ticks’ summary was short but yet informed the readers of what the story was about. The second story ‘Anancy An Smoke-Pork’ the summary was also short and highlighted the areas of the story that would assist the reader in comprehending what the full story was about. The third story summary ‘Bra Nancy and Tiger’ illustrated the story well. The next topic within the article was Themes, the explanation of Polyamory was comprehendible. The next theme is Patriarchy, which was explained properly, the article made ties of the world to Jamaican society and explained why it was an identified theme within the stories. The last theme discussed is Deception, the article explained the deceptive characteristic of Anancy from one of the stories. The last heading of the article is Gender Theory and Language which I believe had a good structure and explanation. The flow of the article headings was well done.

Recommended changes The words Anancy and Louise Bennett Coverley in the first paragraph could be hyperlinked. Expansion on the Anancy could be applied. The summary of the second story, ‘Anancy An Smoke-Pork, the word “so” could have been replaced “instead”. Within the theme Polyamory, the word polyamory could be hyperlinked, evidence from the story could be used in illustrating that ‘Mish Quashiba’, ‘Miss Quashiba’ was dating multiple men at once. The article could also have the translation of ‘Miss’ along with the patios version, which could be understood by a wider audience range. Polyamory theme could be expounded on to illustrates its ties to Jamaica and why it was appropriate for Louise Bennett to display that. The word Patriarchy could be made a hyperlink, evidence from the stories could have been used to give a better connection and illustration of patriarchy occurring withing the stories. Patriarchy could also be expounded on by stating its origin in the Jamaican society. The word deception could be hyperlinked, the article had a flow explaining each area topic to the readers, then that stopped. An example from the stories could be utilized and making connections of deception within the Jamaica society, either by its citizens or by the colonizers deceiving the African people into getting what they wanted. The words Gender and Jack Mandora could be hyperlinked.

Important improvements for the article Expansion on the origin of the Patois language and how it is engraved in the Jamaican traditions and culture. Within the short story segments, grammatically errors needed to be rectified, there could are more creative ways to summarize the three stories by. Run on sentences were present, which could rephrase or restructuring the summary. Examples of patios words from the stories with there translations could be used to bring to life the creativity of the author’s work, while highlighting the different ways in which the tricker Anancy operates his many sides: cunning, greedy, jealous, deceptive, etc. Masculinity was mentioned as a subset of patriarchy which could have been a theme on its own providing evidence from the stories. There were a majority of areas that needed to be expanded on, with these expansions, there would be more references within the reference list, as it is needed. Did you notice anything in the article that could be applicable to my own? The photo of the Louise Bennett ‘Anancy and Miss Lou’s Stories’ cover gave the article a more professional visual.

Lead of the Article. The lead of the article was easy to follow. It was not overwhelmed with information or fluff. The importance of each section could easily be recognized. The article reflected the most important aspect of the information, but also left out examples. Most of the weight of the article is in definitions. No information was redundant.

Structure of the Article The Article is structured well, the sections were organized in a sensible/meaningful manner, except in the case of having Masculinity as a subtheme of Patriarchy, where as Masculinity could stand on its own and carry its own evidence within the stories and Jamaican society.

Balancing Act The definitions took up a lot of the article, when they could be hyperlinked, and a wider range of viewpoint could be shared. More connections of the viewpoint to the story and the stories and the Jamaican society could be shared. The length of each section was too short as more could be expounded on. The article did not reflect all the perspectives in the published literature, each section only had one reference to one story, while more than one reference from multiple stories could have been mentioned. There were no areas of the article that seemed unnecessary and everything was on topic. The article did not draw conclusion, rather everything was factual did not try to convince the reader of any particular point.

Neutral Content The authors point of view was neutral as facts were only presented. there were no neutral words or phrases used. The article did not make claims on behalf of unnamed groups or people. The provides a clear reflection of the various aspects of the multiple headings.

Reliability of Sources The statements within the article sources are connected to a journal entry, and textbooks, hence the author used reliable sources. The sources are evenly attributed, avoiding single pointed view. There are no unsourced statements within the article that I could find.

Peer Review of PrettyJamaican's Edit
The article is well written but can be made better with a few changes. Under the heading 'Gender theory and language' the first paragraph should mention the story that is specifically talking about to make it clear which one is being analyzed. When discussing 'Anancy an Ticks' a better link between male domination and the story should be made as it is currently too vague. There is also an issue with plagiarism. The quote "‘Jack Mandora me nuh choose none could be interpreted as an individual and his/her combolo (friends). In the event, the story was told to be fun, as a mere division of thought. It was through only good manners to say, “the story is not aimed at you or anyone else, nor am I wishing the same fate on you.” Hence, “Jack Mandora, me nuh choose none.”" is taken directly from the source and should be formatted as such to avoid making it seem like the phrasing is theirs. There was also no analysis offered for ‘Anancy an Smoke-pork’ therefore the article is incomplete. Your Neighbourhood Editor (talk) 02:38, 3 April 2021 (UTC)