User talk:Paul Sreenivas

'''PAUL SREENIVAS SPIRITUAL AUTO BIOGRAPHY

''' I was born on 20TH August, 1978 in a a small village called Sankili, A.P,  India, in   a traditional Hindu family as a second son where all kinds of Hindu rituals were richly practiced. As many says, India is the mother of money major religions, cults, occultism, gurus and swami gods. And a land where cows, monkeys and snakes are worshipped as gods. On the streets of India we must pray to God to make it safely home through the multipurpose two lane highway. When we must travel we are in competition with cars, trucks, buses, bicycles, rickshaws, chickens, pigs, cows, god beggars and shops on the side of the roads which you must push through to get to your destination. India a land which embraces and keeps men in the bondage of poverty, disease and spiritual death. Her ancient religious culture justifies the existence of the poor in India, for these outcasts and untouchables, who are poor, sick and crippled, are believed to have reincarnated in the cycle of births and deaths because of their karma in their past lives. Indian society attaches much importance to a person’s place in the varna –system and birth based jati- group. Each jati group has developed its own socio-cultural mores pertaining to marriage patters, food habits, vocations, and inter caste relationships. It provides its own members with a deep sense of belonging and security. But it rejects others, considering them ritually impure and polluting. Each varna  and  jati  group has developed its own  kaddamai social or caste rules). Traditionally, Indians have four aims in life, expressed in the concept of the  purusartha (human pursuits), namely :  dharma ( discharging duties),  artha (acquirement of wealth), karma (gratification of desire), and moksha (final emancipation from rebirths). These aims are inseparably linked to the notions of karma  and karmasamsara( wandering through karma). My family My father name is Chittibabu and mother name is Papayyamma.  My father moved from his home town with all his property to my maternal home after their marriage. At my maternal home he was highly influenced with their religious practices, as they owned a family deity called “Asiramma”. Every year they spent lot of money to celebrate the pompous festival of this deity. As the years passed, family was in financial crisis and could not celebrate this festival anymore. Because of this, tragedian deaths occurred in the family. My mother had 7 brothers and 1 sister. Within a short time, all of them one way or another, died. It was my mother’s turn and she was on her death bed, as she suffered severely with issue of blood. At that crucial time of her life, she came to know Lord Jesus as her personal savior through Gospel preaching of Rev. Victor JR Palla (The pioneer minister of Good News Church, Palakonda, Andhra Pradesh, India and a former Beeson Pastor D.Min graduate ,2010). She had to pay much price to become a Christian for that time. It is the earlier days for spread of Christian faith in our region. In those days if any one accepts Christian faith, they have to loose the community, vote, labour, family status, property and money. Conversion into Christianity took into very serious offence. Even we are denied for public water to fetch from village bore wells. In order to have the drinking water my mother use to travel 5 kilometers away from my village. In spite of much opposition, hardship and trials from my home and even villagers, she kept her faith in Jesus Christ. When I was 10 years old, I was diagnosed with Brain tumor. Actually this made me and my family to draw very near to God in prayers. I am on my death bed and I was filled with the fear of death. I know that death is very near to me. It is an experience of a valley of shadow of death. At this time, as for me, I did not understand much of what was going on, but I was impressed with my mother’s faith that the Lord would heal me and keep me alive. And Pastor visiting me frequently with the prayers and supplications sprout the hope for my life. I began to call Jesus, Jesus, except that call I have no other words comes from my lips. I began to read Gospels especially Gospel according to Mark as it is filled with many miracles and sign of Jesus Christ. Finally with earnest prayers of my pastor and parents, I was miraculously touched by the wounded hands of Jesus and then  onwards  I committed my life to Him. My Journey into Christian Experience: As my family was going through the financial scarcity and struck down by severe poverty, Jehovah Jireh Children Home (JJCH), a Christian charitable organization where the orphan and poor children can get shelter, food and basic education , opened the doors for my high school studies and higher education. Here my life was transformed as I got acquainted with the Christian Scriptures and had tremendous spiritual growth in the Lord under the strict discipline of our Pastor Dr. Victor Palla. And at the age of 15, in 1st January 1993, I was baptized by immersion. At this point of my life one thing was certain for me: I had been buried with Christ and raised with Him to newness of life. Hence forth I rejoiced in the conscious acceptance of God, because of what the Lord Jesus is and has done. “Not I, but Christ” (Gal.2:20) brought freedom, joy, and rest to my soul. My Call for Divine Vocation: After I had finished Secondary School Certificate (10 years of schooling), joined for Pre- Degree course. I have selected Biology Course which further leads to 4 years training of Bachelor of Medicine and Surgery (MBBS). At this time my goal was to becoming a physician and with that goal and determination I am taking my steps forward. In this stage there are times of backsliding from my Christian faith  and commitment due to the heavy influence of  Hindu religious  friends and the heaviness of studies. I found myself at a critical crossroad in my journey, and I made the decision to seek after Christ. However, in my second year Pre- Degree course there is not one mention of God or my desire to seek Him. It seemed I had failed, but Christ did not fail on His part of the agreement: He still sought after me. In May 1997 the definite anointing of the Holy Spirit changed my whole life. It was on upper room of our church where I was accustomed to pray every day. The visitation and vision of the Lord was so mighty on that day that changed my dream to become a Doctor. As soon as I entered the upper room my heart became heavy and I am unbearable it and I fell down on the ground and tears are burst out. The room was completely wet by my tears and the strange thing that, I did not know why I am crying. I cried and cried and finally after 30 minutes the silence broke out now I could see a vision as well as a sound. As Francois Fenelon states, “God does not cease to speak, but the noise of the world outside us, and the noise of our passions within, prevent our hearing him. We must silence every creature, including self, that we may perceive the ineffable voice of Jesus in the deep stillness of the soul. We must lend an attentive hear, for His voice is soft and still, and is heard only by those who hear nothing else”   In that vision I could see my savior Jesus looking at the people running towards the fury flames and I could see many of them or in the lake of fire already. Now Jesus pointed out to me and saying will you stop them as they run towards the eternal death and destruction. Now my inner eyes opened and the my heart was filled with the vision and the words of Jesus. Well I do remember that occasion, in the gladness of my heart I poured out my soul before God, and again and again confessing my grateful love to Him who had done everything for me- who had saved me when I had given up all hope and even desire for salvation- I besought Him to give me some work for him, as an outlet for love and gratitude ; some self-denying service, no matter what it might be, something with which He would be pleased, and that I might do for Him who had done so much for me. The presence of God became unutterably real and blessed, falling prostrate on the ground, and lying there before Him and yielded to the grace with unspeakable awe and unspeakable joy. It was an hour that left its mark on life, the hour in which the soul began to apprehend “that for which also” it was “apprehend of Christ Jesus” (Phil.3:12). A purpose and a power possessed me, unknown before, and I had given myself to God. And though I did not know for what special service the Lord needed me, I knew that I was no longer my own and must be ready for the call whenever it might come. Never will I forget the feeling that came over me then. Though I wished to withdraw my promise, but it was irresistible. Then I heard a voice saying, “Your prayer is answered, your conditions are accepted”. And from that time the conviction never left me that I was called to serve my Lord Jesus. My life was changed and latter at Church on The Rock Theological seminary, the Lord put strong foundation of scripture. My Preparation for Christian ministry India is a nation which gives immense importance for religious values. Yet it is a country with mixture of pantheistic, animistic, agnostic, materialistic worldview. The culture is fatalistic, pessimistic, passive, apathetic, and demonic with a little over a 300 million gods, goddesses and deities reigning. This is the culture I was called to do ministry and establish the kingdom of God. India has over 3000 ethnic castes, with all the work, assigned to low castes and outcastes and is a nation which is controlled by worship of millions of gods, which the writer calls “ unemployed gods”. “ they say nothing, they do nothing, see nothing, hear nothing, think nothing and they advocate a goal in life, nirvana which is nothingness or emptiness”. I know firmly  that only a Christian gospel can motivate and cultivate a nation, victimized by fatalism, into productivity. With this conviction my journey took me to Church On The Rock Theological Seminary (COTRTS), located near to  Bay of Bengal beach of Visakha Patnam, a port city of  India  where I spent the following four years learning about  Christian  faith, Christian community and friendship, unity, and truth tensions in Scripture. COTR Theological Seminary was established by Apostle Dr. PJ Titus (He was with the Lord at present) a native missionary from USA after long stay. Dr. P.J Titus vision is to disciple the nation, by training anointed leaders. All the seminary trainees are expected to have the mind of a scholar and the heart of an evangelist, exhibiting a passion for God and an even greater compassion for souls. All the courses centre on the total development of a person; his head, heart and hand and spiritual character. COTR training emphasizes excellence of endeavor and holiness in life, through the powerful presence of the Holy Spirit and the transforming effect of the Holy Scriptures. Always the main emphasis is on living by faith and applying the principle of faith everyday life. Here in COTR, I understood that “ spiritual battles cannot be won with humanistic resources”. Spiritual character, in called ones, means that a person must first become a servant, willing to serve others in humility and love. Indeed, one who is called to leadership must be prepared to lay down his life, for others. I had learnt that these admirable, yet rare qualities were the greatest indicators of real Christian spirituality. Prayer, power and purity go together, while discipleship and servant hood go together with scholarship. It is the conviction of me that “it is not the man with the talents or gifts that God looks upon with interest, but instead one that will not quit, will not let anything stand before him and take him out of the race he has determined to run. The writer defines failure as failing to get up after mistake is made; failure is not making a mistake, as everyone will invariably make a mistake, but if you quit because you have made a mistake then you have failed. God does not only use perfect vessels, but also allows imperfect vessels to be used for his use, knowing that self correction, desire and determination will make the vessel fit for the master’s use. In the four years of strict discipline and hardship and the experience of rejection from my family and inability of paying my fees leads to the feet of Jesus and more near to his loving arms. I felt four years of seminary as Israelites 40 years of experience in the wilderness. Many a times God used to remind me with this scriptures ‘Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and test you in order to know what was in your heart. (Deut.8:2). In spite of all the adversities, tests and failures from  my part I could experience the fatherly care and motherly nutrition of Jesus in my life. I could see the mighty hand of God at seminary transforming me and making, molding and moving forward where God wanted me to be. Here at Seminary I was involved in the Telugu chapel as a worship leader and a translator. In my final year I was given responsibility to lead a small flock at city of Visakha Patnam. But soon I realized that it is not God’s will for me to be here. He has planned a green pastures as well as fiery  furnaces for me in the rural areas of  Vizianagaram where I am presently ministering. At seminary I was personally influenced by many committed teachers. It is very fortunate to me with the teachers who challenged me and energize me and enable me to discover gifts and talents I have never realized. And books had always been, and always would remain, a strong influence in my life. The books like ‘Take my life’, ‘ The Cost of Discipleship’  of  Dietrich Bonhoeffer,  ‘ Streams in the Desert’ of  Charles E. Cowman , ‘ God can do it again’ of  Catherine Khullman  ‘ Tortured  for Christ ‘ of  Richard Wumbrand ,  ‘ Humble servant in the Mighty Hands of God’ of  PP Job and so on  played  an important  role in my journey of faith and commitment. With much sufferings and hardships I could successfully completed my studies and graduated for my Bachelor of Theology (B.Th) on 21st Febrauary, 2001. Humble Beginnings of  Evangelistic Ministry March, 2001 became a beginning of new things for me. The real journey of faith began with the ministry of reaching the unreached villages of Vizianagaram in the state of Andhra Pradesh. The Lord prepared the ways which were very unfamiliar to me. At this point of my life I was at the verge of the unknown, there lies before me a new beginning and going forth to possess, who can tell what I shall find? What new experiences? What changes? What Challenges shall come? What new needs shall arise? But here God promised me which cheered, comforted me, ‘it is a land the Lord your God cares for; the eyes of the Lord your God are continually on it from the beginning of the year to its end’ (Deut.11:12). Yes I know who has began in me a new thing, a good work will accomplish it  in his time. And I was sure for one thing that, whatever might be involved, the future held but one thing for me; to do my master’s business at any cost. After a short time of waiting on the Lord for the way God prepared for me, I became the part of a ministry called Mercy Mission (www.mercymissionvzm.co.in)   a church planting mission organization who believes in preaching as well as practice the word of God through love manifested in Jesus to human through word and deed. At first I worked as a Pastor later I was appointed as the Secretary of  the same. Meanwhile I got married to Rachel, a tribal convert. she was the lover to me when I am working as a interim Pastor to a tribal Christian congregation. I had many conflicts with my family members for the approval of my parents as I have selected a bride from a tribal community. My parents and my relatives are not interested in intercommunity marriages. And along with my parents, Rachel parents also not interested in me as I am serving the Lord as Pastor who does not shows any financial security and depends on other people always. But with the prayers and my assurance they were convinced and on 25th May, 2001 I got married to Rachel and God blessed us with 2 boy kids Peter and John and they added smiles on our face. As a newly wedded couple, ministry in the villages became our honeymoon. We began with street preaching, tracts distribution with walk without any means of transportation from morning to till night. After few months God helped us to buy an used bicycle  and from morning till night I used to ride it as ministry vehicle to see at least one to respond. ‘Give us this day, our daily bread’. This prayer was our genuine and heartfelt request before the Lord daily, as we live on faith alone. The mission headquarters paid only our monthly rent of 600 Rupees and addition 400 Rupees( Cost of a 25KILOGRAM rice pocket). We had no established church as such We would often go without food on many occasions as we walked the streets.We used to reminded of  Apostle Paul words in 2 Cor. 4:8, We are hard pressed on everyside , but not crushed ; perplexed , but not in despair ; persecuted , but  not abandoned ; struck down; but not destroyed. Many a times we are left as hungry, shelter less, friendless, as orphans. Many times I felt like asking God, oh God really you called me for this vocation or I was moved with my own illusion or imagination. Many times questioned my spirituality and began to ask myself am I really doing God’s will, am I really in the right path, am I doing any mistake or wrong, why God is allowing all these things to me?. This is the scenario I had faced in the beginning of my ministry journey. We had disappointed, depressed but God helped us to exercise faith in such circumstances and chaos. God used to strengthen our faith through the words of Apostle Paul at the times of disappointments. ‘I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us’. (Rom.8:18). It was a faith walk all the way, in every circumstance. Within a short time we could see handful of people coming forward to Christ. The real break-through began in the ministry and many miracles were witnessed in the ministry. Even I witnessed God raised a dead man to life. God’s hand was so powerful in bringing hundreds within a period of 4 years in the Village called PedaTadivada. Vizianagaram District. In May 2005, the Lord had given me a strong desire to reach the main city of the district Vizianagaram. Well, Now God is looking for city Dwellers. Vizianagaram is sometimes spelt as Vijaya-nagaram is the main city of the Vizianagaram District of North Eastern Andhra Pradesh in Southern India. Vizianagaram district was formed on 1 June 1979, with some parts carved from the neighbouring districts of Srikakulam and Visakhapatnam. It is located about 18 km inland from the Bay of Bengal, and 40 km northwest of Visakha-patnam. While the literal meaning of Vizianagaram is the City of Victory, it is also sometimes referred to as the city of education in these parts as there are many colleges and schools here. It is an important business and education centre. As of 2001 India census  Vizianagaram had a population of 195,801 Males constitute 49 percent of the population and females 51percent. This area was ruled by different Hindu Emperors of Kalinga (Ancient Orissa) up to the mediaeval period. Vizianagaram is a veritable melting pot of different people, cultures, and languages. In Vizianagaram people speaks different languages like Telugu, Oriya, Hindi and even Urdu. Because of different factors like business, education historicity and rich traditional heritage  various people groups from  Madhya Pradesh, Chattishgarh, Orissa, Bihar, Rajastan, Tamilnadu and Kerala  settlle down in Vizianagaram and tried to establish their own cultures and fashions. As the city is rapidly spreading in population, modernism, commercialism and even in more religious aspects. Principle religious grous numerically Hindus, Muslims and Christians. Hindus constituting 98.78 percent of the total population followed Muslims. The fast increase of Hindu temples as Ayyappa, Sai Baba, Kalki are need to be mentioned. And Hindu fundamental activities also note worthy. In recent times the local residents have started to revive their hindu religious faith and have tried to explore the possibilities of attracting other religious groups. Alcoholism, drugs, cinema, sexual abuse and like are rampant. Besides the royal mansions and big buildings city has more than 80 identified slums, a junk of garbage collection, and polluted air which are the causes of various problems with housing, sanitation, water supply and health facilities. The so called modernity and fashions of the day is leading people into a world of darkness. Life in the city has become very expensive and in the name of fashion and modernity, people have started to change their dress, language, and life style. Therefore it was a completely different from the village ministry. We took it as a challenge and hired a big hall in the city, with a big vision that hundreds of people will march into the hall and will be called as house of the Lord for the entire city. With much fears and tears we started house churches where we can gather 2 or 3 people. House churches multiplied and the lord increased our faith. We understood as “it is not by our might or power, but it is the Lord, who adds people to His Church, and He builds his church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” Presently 200 people gather for morning and evening worship services. Now my passion is to work for the Master until the very last breath. My Pastoral Journey Being the Pastor of a congregation is hard work. Approximately for 10 years I served the church as a Pastor, and I experienced firsthand the joys and the challenges of being a pastor. This is life in the church: sensing the wonder of the work of God, yet realizing that it happens in very ordinary contexts. The call to pastoral ministry is a gift, but it’s also a responsibility that demands life-long learning. Pastoral ministry is hard but it is also a great joy. As a pastor, I often struggle under the pressure to faithfully minister in tough and changing times; still, the church is the hope of the world. I feel that pastors have the privilege of serving the church for the sake of the world and its salvation and finally can say along with Apostle Paul, “…as you hold out the word of life- in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you”. Teaching Journey In addition to the Pastoral ministry, God blessed me with the gift of teaching. Since 2003, I have been the registrar and Academic Dean for Christian Renewal Theological Seminary, where I teach missions and languages. Here many young people transformed for the ministry. It is a great joy and privilege to be the teacher of scriptures and prepare men and women for the ministry of the Lord by giving holistic training and helps to deepen, strengthen and enrich students’ faith and commitment to Christ and helps the students to develop ministerial skills to reach the unreached millions. Many of the students are already in the mission field and reaping the great harvest. The news of the productive ministry of our graduates makes the heart very glad. It is my understanding that, too often the aim of theological education is the transformation of cognitive knowledge. But today we are living in a complex world, no longer simple and our students are educated, who engage in the world everyday and they seek not only knowledge but also answers to life and ministry. So I strongly believe it is a great need to have holistic training. And equipping the trainees holistically is essential to meet the present day challenges. Leadership Journey 2001- Present, Secretary for Mercy Mission Welfare Society (Registered Charity Organization in India, USA, UK & New Zealand) www.mercymissionvzm.co.in & Christian Renewal Churches Welfare Association, Vizianagaram, Andhra Pradesh, India. 2007- Present, Co-Ordinator for Indian Translations- Bible Lessons International (Freebiblecommentary.org), USA. 2006 – Present an executive member of Asia Theological Association 2009- Present, Treasurer for United Pastors Welfare Association, Vizianagaram, A.P., India. Leadership is being the greatest challenge for me and it makes me very humble and simple. I recognize that leadership emergence from deep convictions at the intersection of the biblical text, ministry context and life experience. Being the leaders we should focus on Christ-like leadership. In many instances I strongly believe leaders ought to be lifetime learners. And I feel being the leader I should be equipped with innovative tools for leadership in a changing world and should respond to the needs of time. My journey to Asbury Theological Seminary Asbury Theological Seminary was there in my heart since 2006 as I am looking for Th. M (Master of Theology). The desire buried up with an email from  Admission’s office stating the description of the college and tuition costs for that time. Due to the lack of financial support I withdrew the idea of joining  into Asbury Theological Seminary. Instead of ATS I had joined here in India and  I could successfully finished Th. M in Missiology in the year 2009. When I was disappointed  by  the stopping situation  of  going to ATS for that time, I had prayed to God,  if  I should go to USA, and if  you should  meant  for me  that I should study in USA, I should not  bow down  at anyone, but you  should take me without any of my finance. This is the test I put to my Jesus. But Jesus never fails in his promises and provision instead of all my blunders and failures. Here I need to praise God for his faithfulness in fulfilling my desire to study at ATS. God has prepared me a way through my Pastor earlier I mentioned about him; he could arrange my application and application fee while he was at his final years of his Beeson  D.Min program and it took nearly 6-8 months of process. Many of my friends and especially my congregation prayed very hard, God honoured our faith and prayers. And every step of this admission process I could feel the tremendous power of God upon me. I am well aware of my physical, financial, family, church related hindrances and barriers, but God who has called me is trustworthy and faithful who invested his grace  which is not vain in me and he leads me to the mountain which is higher than my thinking, feeling,  ability and imagination. Now I know that I am in his blessed will and it is his delight that I should be equipped more and to be formed in a sound foundation of theological and biblical inquiry, that I may be able to integrate into the life of holiness for Christian ministry with the anointing of the Holy Spirit and impact my congregation as a sanctified people more powerfully for God and world in integrity, purity and love and live out the witness of a spirit filled life. This Beeson D.Min program may provides learning, resources, and training through which I may acquire knowledge, develop new frame works and gain new skills for thinking and  to develop new attitudes needed in Christian ministry. And I am looking for a Scriptural nourishment, a renewal and equipment with new skills, the tools necessary to move my ministry forward, desiring holistic  transformation for the people I lead and exploring New  steps in my life and ministry. I may be encouraged to become knowledgeable in God’s word and competent in its interpretation, teaching, proclamation, service and application in the rapid urbanized world very effectively. Finally Throughout my journey, God has placed incredible comfort and encouragement in my life. I am excited about a future, and a God, that contains elements of mystery. God has called me to serve Him, and I look forward to having my calling clarified over the next few years with D.Min Program. My hope and prayer is that I will truly live an eternal kind of life now, and be an example to those around me. The adventure continues and I remain a sojourner, traveling through life, seeking Christ and learning what it means to be a follower of Christ. At present i am looking at God to Work as his servant to reach many people with the love of Christ and win them for Christ. Appreciate your prayers and support. Paulsreenivas