User talk:Pdesai93/sandbox

I would recommend that you expand a bit more on your mechanism part. You should describe in detail as to what the disease is caused by. For example, you should explain what the terms mean, such as calcium hydroxyapatite, carbonic anhydrase, acidification, etc. These terms would be easy for a science student to understand, but it would be difficult for a person with no science background to understand. You did a good job at hitting all the key points on the rubric. For treatment and prognosis, you should expand a bit more and explain in detail as to how it can be treated. Don't forget to include a short summary of the research articles. Overall, your wiki page looks good.

Bp908 (talk) 20:26, 10 November 2017 (UTC)Bansi P.

So far your wiki page looks good. In regards to the sections that are unfinished, the material that is presented so far is a good start and it seems like the sections will look great. I like how you highlighted the different types of the disease in the symptoms section. I also like how you stated the difference in symptoms between the mild and serious forms of the disease. I would suggest to elaborate on the mechanism section as well. I also think you did a good job in regards to linking some words to other Wikipedia pages. Overall, great job on you page. Rraspberry (talk) 06:43, 14 November 2017 (UTC)

Hi, I think you've done a great job so far. You included something for every section which is great. I liked how you mentioned the different types of the disease. Be sure to add causes for autosomal recessive osteopetrosis. Elaborate on the recent research. For this I advise to try to get specific case studies as examples if there are any. I also suggest that you elaborate on the mechanism part. What you have now is a great start, but a little vague and I think you could add more on the process itself and also defining key words in it so that it is easy to understand. DaniellaAmato (talk) 18:19, 14 November 2017 (UTC)Daniella Amato

Sweiner02 (talk) 01:06, 22 November 2017 (UTC)
 * I like your abstract. It's very clear.
 * I'd like to see a little more in the mechanism, especially connecting the mutations with the diseases for any that we can.
 * Could use some more citations, like for marble bone disease.
 * Adult section not cited at all.
 * Add more links!
 * The differential diagnosis information is good, but you haven't really explained at all how these diseases are distinguished.
 * Causes needs more clarity and elaboration.
 * So far, a lot of this is just the old page. While it's correct to use what's there, make sure that you are adding to it in meaningful ways. Several sections that really need more are so far identical.
 * Obviously waiting for detail and citations in recent research.