User talk:Pdphan/my rough draft

Comments from Joe
Hi Peter --

This is an excellent article. I have a few small comments.


 * In paragraph 2, last sentence:


 * Then, the activated executioner protein begins a cascade of events that will destroy the machinery of the cell.

... I wonder if you want to keep the word "will" or delete it. Alternative wordings:


 * - a cascade of events that destroys the machinery of the cell. (note that 'cascade' is singular)


 * - a cascade of events that result in the destruction of ...


 * The guillotine analogy is hard to understand. It seems to me that the blade is the delivery end of a guillotine; whereas procaspase-3 seems more like the person who releases the cord on the guillotine, setting the apoptotic process in motion. Or maybe it is the rope. The phagocytes seem more like the blade of a guillotine. (Well, I'm not sure, but I think this analogy needs improvement.) Also, you already called caspase-3 the "executioner" protein, so if that's the executioner, I guess procaspase-3 is the executioner at home before he's given his orders to come in to work.


 * “safety catch” made of three amino acids.


 * would it be useful to name these amino acids?

--Joegrohens 03:12, 15 November 2006 (UTC)

P.S.
Also, I noticed that the copyright license on the apoptosis image says that it is an obsolete tag and to use something newer.