User talk:Ph2500/fish

RP2006 comments
Hi... Sounds like a cool book for kids! I read it over and here are some constructive (I hope) comments:


 * I think the book title in the lede should be bold.
 * Two lede sentences seem very short and perhaps could be combined:
 * This book explains Charles Darwin's theory of common descent to young readers by means of call and response text where the child is asked to mimic the behavior of our various animal relatives. (Although I don't understand what "a call and response text" means here.)


 * In lede two sentences in a row start with "this book" or "the book."


 * Overview description seems odd in that it STARTS with "...also includes..." Also consider bullets like I used here instead of leading dashes.
 * About the Authors: too many commas in first sentence.
 * Typo: "scientifically accurate by also be colorful"
 * Reception: I's add a blank line between each... or use bullets?
 * Publishing History: The three very short sentences seem choppy. I'd do it like this:
 * The book was funded by Kickstarter and was first published in 20015. Macmillan released a second edition September 6, 2016.

RobP (talk) 22:07, 17 October 2016 (UTC)