User talk:Plinplan/sandbox

Sorry, what material is yours?
Hey Patricia, which is the material that you wrote? Right now it looks like just the article...

Dhumphrey106 (talk) 19:44, 8 April 2015 (UTC)
 * looking at the history, it seems that there has been some of their own work written in, but it's been mixed/replaced with the content of depression. Although I don't understand their worry about their edits being removed. &mdash;George8211 / T 19:48, 8 April 2015 (UTC)
 * She and I are in the same English writing course at our University, and both of us understand how to use this website very little I'm afraid to say! At my advice, I suggested she copy and paste the entire depression article so she could make her edits, but I saw that her sandbox was being linked, to your chagrin. I wrote the comment because I, not knowing how to use wikipedia myself, don't know which edits are hers. Any help would be appreciated, thanks for your diligence!
 * I've found two edits of their own: see this and this. Note, however, that the "DSM-F Depressive Disorders" in the first edit appears to be from here. &mdash;George8211 / T 21:00, 8 April 2015 (UTC)

Peer Review
Hey, sorry this is getting to you so late, I hope you still find it helpful.

I like your additions as to the different types of depressions, however they seem a bit thin; consider expanding them using examples or elaborating. However, by covering the variety of different types of depression, the article itself begins to wander and seems to lose focus. Perhaps find a way to combine and solidify those parts as much as possible, much like in the "causes" section.

Also, your language and your grammar is very perplexing: for some reason there are no periods or parentheses? It makes the article very difficult to read and is distracting. Once you've fixed that, though, make sure your language is for everybody, some of your language is a bit complex with phrases like "mood-congruent" and "catatonia." Also, I'm not sure if using common phrases like "the blues" provides an accurate representation of what you're implying, so I would suggest making changes to that. Also, as George8211 shows, make sure that you're not directly copying your material. And lastly, consider rather than having different sections for each subtype, place them in the same section. In other words:

this
not

this
Dhumphrey106 (talk) 15:02, 10 April 2015 (UTC)