User talk:Pmhere

My struggle in holding the joint family.

Ever since i got married i had tough time holding the family togather. My up brining taught me to have a joint family and all live togather. But as a new person arrived in my life things slowly changed. I didnt even know what was happening but there were cracks in the family.My better half always had complaints for me about my parents and their behaviour. My parent never complianed anything to me about Mrs Me, but Mrs Me always said they dont have anything to say to me as they complianed directly to her.

It all started the just in the first week of our marriage and i had patiently listened to the complaints made by "Mrs Me". I thought i should give her time to adjust before explaining her anything ( I dont know if that was wrong, ignoring or postponing a problem can become really big. Because few attempts of explaing went no where). She complained about my family, friends and then me. And i kept giving some answer but in vien as she could easily say that i would any way support them. I guess she was more intellegent than i am. She has many ways to get things done. If not by words she had tears and other ways to emotionally get things done ( I have been very emotional person).

The issues i see them were petty. I am not supporting my parents or her but then do keep family togather each one of them have to ignore others mistake. I had told my parent not to spoon feed her as i know that was annoying for her and i felt she was right. When that stopped the complaints about the way my parents convey message even without telling. Then i decided that no one speaks to other unless necessary in the house(Not knowing this was a big trap, and more issues to come). Parent stopped talking and things were fine for a day or two and then was the next complaint, nothing is normal in this house. People dont know how to have relationships and so on. She was upset on me talking to them as well. But can i forget all my parents did for me ( I am not sure just getting married means you have new partner and you do everything for her and forget all the old relationships.)

Now the new demand is on to move out of common house and live separately. But will that guarantee that i will not have issue. What if my old parents need me and i go to them to talk and find that there is a big issue waiting at home. But i see there is no option left.

I might take a new house and hope i will be able to server Mrs Me and my parents all well.

Whom to blame for all this. I think its me i was not able to create a communication channel and now i guess it to late. And i am not ever sure if there is any right way to get things in place.