User talk:Poph55/sandbox

Jack Longarzo
Hey Palmer, overall your additions are very strong and firmly abide by Wikipedia's guidelines. While I cannot speak on the accuracy of the content, I love the degree of depth you added to each level. Although they are long, your brief and straightforward sentences make the dense content an easy and logical read. Throughout your additions you also do a particularly good job of maintaining a neutral voice. I enjoyed your "Critical Reception" section and think you added some solid sources and smoothly integrated signal phrases. I would also recommend you add some voices of people who enjoyed this movie and praise it as i think it would make for a strong contrast and bring out the elements of the film that the community acclaims. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Jlongarzo (talk • contribs) 06:21, 3 December 2019 (UTC)

Grace Khaner
Hi Palmer! I really liked reading your article draft. I think you did an especially good job at making your voice as an author neural while keeping the article engaging for the reader. That being said, there are a few sentences that are a bit clunky; I don’t know if you need to go into so much detail in the Level 1/2/3 sections in order for your audience to get a picture of the game’s interface. Specifically, splitting up some of the sentences in which you separate different steps in gameplay with commas might help to improve readability. In addition, I think it would be helpful to your audience to provide a brief description of what Hi-ReS! is, beyond the fact that it is the creator of the site, given that it is mentioned multiple times throughout the article. Overall, I found your descriptions of each section of the Donnie Darko site to be interesting and fun to read! Also, I would make sure that you add a citation for the first sentence of the “Critical Reception” section where you first discuss Sam Adams’s opinion on the movie. You might also want to consider adding citations for the website itself within your paragraphs discussing each level. Great job with your article overall, and I look forward to seeing the final product! -Grace Gkhaner (talk) 18:01, 27 November 2019 (UTC)gkhaner