User talk:Punamtiwari923

Biography
Hi, I am Punam Tiwari. I was born in  Nepal and moved to Washington state. Right now I am enrolled in EvCC working on my perquisites classes for my Nursing associate and move on to college. I moved from Nepal to America for better education and for better future. I plan to be a nurse and I will try my best to achieve my goal. I was a refugee in Nepal where I saw many people dying because of diseases, it was hard for them to get help. My aspirations are to complete my BSN degree and visit refugees in Nepal and Africa in order to  provide them with good treatments.

This is the first time I am going to use wikipedia in my English 101 class. I meet different kind of teacher in my life, but they all told me not to trust wikipedia and not to gather any information from wikipedia, which confused my mind. I read an article about my country Nepal in wiki, in which some were true but some stuff about it was incorrect. I have not read much article from this wikipedia, now I got chance to. This will be helpful

Thank you for visiting my user page, I appreciate.

Article Introduction
I am from a different culture and I love my cultural rituals. I often ask my parents about my culture. When I listen to them, it makes me understand everything. They value their culture a lot. We celebrate our festival called Bhailo and we value our festival. It our second largest festival of all Nepali people. I am expecting to see more information on what do people think Bhailo of for them even tho they live in foreign country. I visited a page on Wikipedia and found three aspects of its worth commenting on Fallacy, Citation, and Sources.

Falllacy
I visited the Bhailo page on Wikipedia and found three feature of its commenting on: Incomplete sentences, mistakes and also the history of bhailo. In the article, it mentioned that the Bhailo tradition recently allowed to play and dance before Laxmi puja but as I know till now, we are not allowed to play deusi or bhailo before Laxmi puja. They also mentioned that they dance and play to make money for a fundraiser, which I think is a lie. I walked out all night to play bhailo and deusi and whatever the money we all made as a group, we went picnic and enjoyed with that money. There is nothing called fundraiser.

Citation
I already checked the citation and they are not enough to support the article. The citation is all mixed up in the incorrect order. It does not even really point out the fact that the money they earn by playing bhailo goes in the fundraiser or either they can play bhailo before Laxmi puja. They are supposed to play bhailo after laxmi puja, we are not even actually allowed to eat food before Laxmi puja.

Summary
This article is not really helpful to make people understand about our Nepali festival Bhailo. Sources and citation are not enough. The article is too short and it does not have much information about it. This article could use more source to support the nepali culture festival Bhailo