User talk:Quirkybooknerd/sandbox

Hi Sarah! Sorry for getting this to you so late but great work here! Even though this is just preliminary work it definitely looks like you are going in the right direction and I'm excited to see the final product!

Looking at the current state of the Neurodegeneration article, I am surprised to see how much is missing from the subsections on these diseases, your edits are definitely much needed here!

A few nitpicky minor things I noticed which will probably be changed by the time you move these over to the live article anyways, but:

Again, great work so far! Fujeau (talk) 04:07, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * The first two sentences of your Alzheimer's section seem a bit redundant; maybe it would help to change up the wording here?
 * In the ALS section, I think this sentence could be made a little more specific as it seems maybe a bit vague as of now: "Currently, there is research being done regarding the diagnosis of ALS through the use of tests on the upper motor neurons".
 * Once again, in the Batten Disease section I think it would help to vary the sentence structure here!

Peer review
Hi !

Because of how my project went, I got quite a bit of experience with wp:medrs and other pretty specific Wikipedia rules (and how editors can act about them). It looks like you actually have a good amount of content to add here, and it's mostly solid, but I do think there are a few traps that I want to point out to you so that you don't get eaten alive by some editors. Ok, that sounds bad, but rest assured that most of what you have is great and there are just a few things that I think Wikipedia will be super strict about since this is a medical article.

In general, I think the big thing that you want to be sure of is that you're literally only saying things that are completely certain, and you know that because your evidence is predominantly literature-review level stuff that shows there's a scientific consensus. I know there's a lot of emerging new info in neuroscience these days, but it can be frustrating dealing with this kind of thing on Wikipedia since they really need everything to be absolutely certain when it comes to health topics. If you just make sure that you're saying specific facts that are directly backed up by lit-review-level sources, then you should be totally fine. More peripheral facts can probably get away with more primary research (I think), but I'm not sure. It can't hurt to just be bold and go for it, but also if you have any hesitation about anything then just make a quick talk page about it to see what people think before going for it.

I hope this doesn't seem overly critical or scary — by and large you look good to go, but there are a few things that you might want to check or rephrase to be more in line with their strict rules for medical stuff. Also, as far as you should be concerned for this class and grades and stuff, you've done plenty of stuff worth a good grade, so don't stress too much about doing this all before the final deadline, especially if you start a conversation with some editors (if you feel like bothering with that after this class is over – but I think you should!).

I'll reply to this comment with specific examples. --McHusky (talk) 23:47, 10 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Ok, as far as actual revisions go, there are a few style things that stood out to me in the Alzheimer's and Parkinson's sections. I think in this kind of article, sentences like "Currently, diagnoses of Alzheimer's is subpar, and better methods need to be utilized [...]" aren't the super professional, encyclopedic facts they're looking for. Specific and factual language about the exact accuracy or sensitivity of diagnoses (as found by a lit review) would be more like it.


 * In the Parkinson's section, you discuss some topics that are controversial in the field, as you point out and cite. I'm unsure if the fact that you clearly describe that these things are controversial is enough — they might just remove it since it's not totally set in stone. Either way, you can post it and see what they do if you're feeling confident, or you can post your planned edit in the talk page and see what people say about it. Up to you!


 * Best of luck with this and the rest of your finals! --McHusky (talk) 00:19, 11 December 2020 (UTC)