User talk:R.w.puett/sandbox

Peer Review - Lexi
Just going to follow the rubric.

Lead Section: Introductory Sentence - Good intro sentence, explains what the organization is. Lead summary and context - I did not find a lead summary. I think writing a summary about what is going to be in the body of the article is a good idea. The summary can include that you will be expanding on the organization itself, racial inequality and also sexual health inequality.

Article: Organization - The article is organized in a clean and logical format. In my opinion, separating the first paragraph into two paragraphs could help the organization. Like I mentioned before, turing the first couple sentences into a lead summary paragraph and then expanding on the organization in the second. Content - added content to fill the gaps, such as Racial inequality and sexual health inequality. Added a source.

Balance - "This lead to women being marginalized and treated like they couldn't think for themselves" sounds very opinionated, if it was stated by someone from the group it needs a citation. If it was something you wrote, changing up the wording will help give a more neutral statement. The word "stigma" can be taken as opinionated without a citation. "This was important because it could also help end..." is also an opinion and changing the wording would be an easy fix. You might say "According to (x), this was important because...". "No where do you find a better example of this" is an opinionated sentence that needs a citation, and also "According to (x), there is not a better example of this....." could be a fix.

References: After the first paragraph I do not see any citations. The sources are credible. Just need to add citations after each sentence.

Overall, Great Article!

Katie Kassler Peer Review
Lead section: I think your first sentence is great. There are a few sentences in the lead section that are fragments, or incomplete, so just go back through one more time before you actually post the changes. Also, the last few sentences in the leads section seem to lean more pro-choice. I know this section is about abortion rights, but it's important to make sure the author's own opinion is not obvious in the writing (even if you weren't the original person who wrote those sentences)

Article: I think you need to add a sentence before the bulleted list of names that says something like, "This is the list of men and women who signed the declaration brochure." It just seems a little out of place without an introductory sentence. For the other two paragraphs you added, you definitely need to go back and add in citations. Without them, your claims are unsupported. You also use phrases, especially in the first paragraph, that seem opinionated or biased. Lastly, the tone in the last few sentences in each paragraphs you wrote need to sound more encyclopedic.

References: Add more citations throughout! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Katiekassler (talk • contribs) 06:26, 19 April 2018 (UTC)