User talk:RTrites/sandbox

comments
-- Jytdog (talk) 21:20, 5 November 2018 (UTC)
 * please don't use "patient" - instead talk about "people w X" or "person" ("people with sepsis" not "septic patients") and don't use "you" or "they" -0 again use "person with X" or if you want to be general say "the human body" or the like. See WP:MEDMOS
 * the first bit on sepsis is just garble. "Hypothermia also has a significant role in individuals with sepsis" is meaningless.
 * alcohol section is generally good, plain english. would be good to say something about level of alcohol intake and level of risk.
 * please provide page numbers for the books

response to comments
Thank you very much for your comments. I plan to change the terminology (patient to person with etc.), improve the flow of the sepsis edits and add in the page numbers to the references. RTrites (talk) 16:17, 13 November 2018 (UTC)RTrites