User talk:RUOkay44/sandbox

Suggestions from Peer Review
Lead Section

--- Pariewill (talk) 21:21, 4 April 2017 (UTC) Pariewill Locations
 * Maybe telling people "this will be discussed" isn't really necessary because it is an encyclopedic page--when you say this it has more of a formal class paper type of tone.
 * In the beginning instead of saying "Abellen... and the other three language names all together, you could state, "Abellen ... which also goes by the names of Abelen and Aburin" --it sounded kind of confusing having the three names for it at the beginning, but it's nothing major
 * Maybe state if the language is endangered or not, and if so what level of endangerment after you mention the amount of speakers it has
 * The sentence "The Ayta people are known to be natives of the Philippine people who landed on the islands around 30,000 years ago." Is a little confusing. Do you mean the Ayta people are progeny of people who landed in the Philippines? or are they, themselves the indigenous/natives?
 * Will you talk about the significance of the natives coming in contact with Austroneasians? If not, it may not be necessary to mention in the lead section.
 * You could link to the pages for "Sambalic" and "Austroneasian" so readers can research that background more deeply.


 * Maybe can change the title of "Locations" to Geographical Locations
 * Instead say: "Abellen Ayta speakers can be found in the following locations of the Tarlac Province: ...(info) then simply cite the work instead of mentioning the Ethnologue

General Suggestions
 * For the 9th resource you have, there's no link or doi to be able to access it
 * Try to use an active voice rather than passive so that it sounds encyclopedic-- I have trouble with this too!

'''I know this is a hard thing to do! Believe me I find it frustrating sometimes but you're doing a great job!! Good luck!'''

Marianelaq17 (talk) 20:00, 30 March 2017 (UTC)Marianela Quezada - Best of luck! Pariewill (talk) 21:21, 4 April 2017 (UTC) Pariewill
 * In your last sentence I changed "Their" to "There"

Sajan (Sajpat95) Peer Review Comments/Suggestions:
Hi User RUOkay44,

This is Sajan Patel. I would like to say that you are off to a great start! However, you can expand further and add more to your Wikipedia Page. In the “Abellen Language” section, go into some detail about this community of native speakers and how their spoken language has shaped the people itself and the inhabitants of the different smaller subareas that make up the larger Tarlac province. Does this language have varying degrees of impact and importance to the people who inhabit the province? You can even go into some detail in how this language has become endangered over time and why it is currently endangered. I think the first six sentences of your lead section do a great job in introducing the speakers of the language and the community in general. Add upon what you have wrote and then weave that into the “Abellen Language” section of your Wikipedia article page. I do not think you need a “Location” section, in and of itself, which I believe could better be weaved under the “Abellen Language” section.

Your lead section is well developed. I like how you want to talk about grammar points and linguistical considerations such as phonology, orthography, morphology, and syntax. However, I do not see a written section about this so if you do want to have a written section encompassing this information, please include that along with relevant references in your bibliography works cited. Please expand on other areas in your lead that you will discuss in your Wikipedia page: Here are possible areas for further discussion: the history, geographic and cultural considerations of the community, how Philippine government policy has effected Abellen speakers, efforts taken by the state or even these speakers in raising awareness of the community or documenting the opposite if the community has resisted societal efforts to get involved in their communities which is the case sometimes, and how the language has developed over many years. For the most part, your lead section does a great job of introducing this community and the diversity of this group of people to the Philippines so job well done.

It is hard for me to determine at this time if your article reflects the varying perspectives represented by published literature or if the statements you are still developing are connected to reliable sources such as textbooks, books, journal articles, or scholarly publications because you have not went into any great detail into these things. However, from what I am reading, you seem to be on the right track in terms of developing a neutral, impartial content/perspective about this native community. As you develop the sections to your Wikipedia article in more detail later, reference scholarly sources written by experts to buffer what you are saying. Please also add in a works cited page as well. Good job so far! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sajpat95 (talk • contribs) 19:04, 7 April 2017 (UTC)