User talk:RachelGreene109/sandbox

Peer Review for Brian Donnelly, aka Kaws
1.	Is everything in the article relevant to the article topic? Is there anything that distracted you? 2.	Is the article neutral? Are there any claims, or frames, that appear heavily biased toward a particular position? 3.	Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented? 4.	Check the citations. Do the links work? Does the source support the claims in the article? 5.	Is each fact supported by an appropriate, reliable reference? Are these neutral sources? If biased, is that bias noted? 6.	Is any information out of date? Is anything missing that should be added? Bstephens120 (talk) 17:53, 6 March 2019 (UTC)
 * When reading about his works and books (paragraph 3), the last sentence “he currently lives and works in…” is out of place.
 * I also think there is a better place/way to say many books illustrating his work has been published. Being reworded, this sentence can better flow and mesh in with the paragraph.
 * Suggestion: “Brian Donnelly (born 1974), known professionally as Kaws (stylized as KAWS), is an American artist and designer that currently lives and works in Brooklyn, New York [citation needed].”
 * Life and Career, first paragraph: “In 1999 KAWS made his first toy with Japanese company Bounty Hunter, a vinyl figure of Mickey Mouse with x-ed out eyes.” Sounds slightly awkward. Consider rewording it, or making it two sentences?
 * Subhead ‘Current’ should be changed to something more descriptive. It’s a bit confusing on what you’ll be talking about in that section.
 * Under ‘products and commercial collaborations’, consider switching ‘For the 2013 MTV…” and “He has illustrated magazine covers for the New Yorker…” These would best be switched so the dates go in order, placing 2010 before 2013. Also, going off of order, consider switching “Nike Air Force 1…” to go before the 2010 section. All of the rest of them seem to be in order by date after those changes.
 * Under “current”, consider making that sentence 2 sentences. It is a run-on sentence and hard to read.
 * There are a couple, but I’ve listed those suggestions to change in other bullet points.
 * The early life section can be flushed out. It is underrepresented as of now.
 * I would also update/add to his works and exhibitions. I hope he’s done more shows since 2012.
 * Obviously, there are a few places that citations are needed, but I know we’ll all get to that soon 
 * In Life and Career, Academic background and early career, ‘and went to High School in New Jersey’ needs a citation. Also if you could find the specific high school he went to, that would be more appropriate. Otherwise, High School doesn’t need to be capitalized (I don’t think) since it isn’t specified.
 * “Donnelly created a name for himself, KAWS, based on the way the letters looked.” Needs a citation. This sounds slightly biased.
 * Under “Art Style”, the second sentence, sounds biased by using ‘powerless’. I know there is a source there, but using this word makes it sound biased. Consider changing it? If he himself said they are generally depicted in a shy/powerless pose, make sure to tell the viewers that. For example, ‘Kaws states that his characters are generally depicted as…” This lets us know that it’s true, and not just what some curator/studier said about his work.
 * Under “Works and Exhibitions”, all of those shows need citations.
 * Also, if I’m not mistaken, all of his publications need citations as well. BUT I may be wrong about that since the actual publication is listed but I would ask…
 * Life and career, second paragraph: consider adding “Over the years, Donnelly has been influenced by …” ‘he’ sounds vague (even though its obvious who you’re talking about, I would just restate his name when starting the new paragraph).
 * I noticed there was nothing about his early life, other than from high school on. Can you find anything about how he grew up? How that has impacted his life in art? This would help add to his life and career section.
 * Under “Collections”, can you find the piece name that is held there? The others have names whereas that one does not list a name of the work.

Peer Review For Brian Donnelly
1. Is everything in the article relevant to the article topic? Is there anything that distracted you? I would add what he is currently doing in his career to the beginning of your article then, then I would go into his background and early parts of his career. I also would move what he is currently working on artistically to the beginning as well. I would also try to find more content to add to what he is currently working on so that you have more than just a one sentences. I would make the sentence into two in that section as well. 2. Is the article neutral? Are there any claims, or frames, that appear heavily biased toward a particular position? For the most part it is neutral. The only thing I would suggest is to be careful when you use words like based on. Make sure you have a citation is you are going to say something like that. 3. Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented? As I stated earlier I feel like what he is currently working on and doing in his live is underrepresented and you could go into a lot more detail in that section. 4. Check the citations. Do the links work? Does the source support the claims in the article? There are a few places where citations are still needed, which is understandable. The cites that are in the article so far are good and they work. 5. Is each fact supported by an appropriate, reliable reference? Where does the information come from? Are these neutral sources? If biased, is that bias noted? Citations are needed after,“Donnelly created a name for himself, KAWS, based on the way the letters looked.” "He currently makes sculptures, acrylic paintings on canvas, and screen prints and commercially collaborates predominantly on limited edition toys, but also clothing, skate decks and other products [citation needed]." Your exhibition section also needs citations. 6. Is any information out of date? Is anything missing that should be added? I would look to see if he has had any more exhibitions since 2012. Alaney123 (talk) 14:44, 7 March 2019 (UTC)