User talk:Rachelbauer/sandbox

Hi Rachel,

The beginning of your article looks like it is coming together and you are off to a good start. However, your lead is fairly short. That being said, I think you could add a little more information in your lead section because a lead is supposed to give the reader an idea about what they are going to be reading in your article. The information you provided in your history section seems to be off to a good start as well but maybe you could add some history on how your language became endangered. Your one sentence "Most Zaramo people speak Swahili as there first language today." has a grammatical error. There should be replaced with their, I will change that for you. After that sentence you talk about Swahili for a few sentences, which is okay but I think you should try to add more information about Zaramo. Lastly, it looks like you have a decent number of sources in your bibliography, I look forward to reading your article when more of the information you found is provided.

Best of luck, Danielle