User talk:Ragesoss/History of biotechnology 2

Peer Review by Eugene for History of Biotechnology 2

-I like how you begin with ancient, prehistoric times as beginning biotechnology, but is there a way you could expand more on how those roots are or are not seen in modern biotechnology? -I think in the last paragraph of your intro you mean to say “culminating in” instead of “culminating is.” -I like the way you introduce the topic of biotechnology by breaking down the etymology of the word and clearly explaining the two important aspects of biotechnology and how they came together. -I think you did a good job of highlighting important people and discoveries in the progress of biology, but maybe you could tie it into the progress of biotechnology a little bit more. -I like the progression of your article from beginning with prehistoric times and bringing it all the way to present-day society and the industrial and social impact of biotechnology.

Comments Related to Article
Dear Article Author,

Greetings! I think that you have an excellent article, although I have several comments. For one, in the second paragraph of the introduction, I think that the phrase, "Many may be surprised to," is not appropriate for an encyclopedia article. The same I believe is true for the phrase, "It is interesting to," found at the end of the article. Encyclopedia articles should strictly factual, and not employ phrases that involve emotion. Additionally, to be precise, given your dates, Fleming's invention came about 132 years after Jenner's vaccination (1828-1796). I hope that these comments help.

Sincerely, Gilbert Lee4 20:53, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

Peer review by Bryan I really like the way that biotech is explained after the introduction. Perhaps a breif definition of biotech in the introduction will increase its purposefullness even further. I like the subdivision of the topic into the general time areas. I still have questions, as I did with the other biotech article, on whether there are any examples of advances in biotech that can be dated more recently than the eighties to show how important it is even today. I like the incorporation of acientbiotech because of the abstract beginings it projects.