User talk:Rajiv.chainani/sandbox

Hi Rajiv, a good start here in your article development regarding the "Amazon Effect" and how it might move forward post Covid-19. Do you plan to add to the existing Amazon Effect article? That could be a good idea as opposed to a standalone article as it would be a relevant addition to the page in terms of making it more current. One thing to watch, however, is to keep with the neutral point of view and make sure the language throughout is unbiased (e.g. sentences like "It is well known that Amazon impacts different traditional retail stores, due to the Amazon effect" offer claims that aren't supported by sources, so make sure that any claims are backed by a direct reference). Happy to discuss this with you further! Amyc29 (talk) 16:16, 28 July 2020 (UTC)

Hey Rajiv! Sorry for the delayed feedback. For some reason I couldn't see anything in your sandbox during the feedback period and so wasn't able to give feedback until now. Since we still have a couple of days until the final submission for Unit 2 I hope this feedback is helpful.

1. What does the article (or section) do well? I think your article is very holistic as it covers multiple aspects of the Amazon effect. Furthermore, I think you did a great job by including all of the details about Amazon and its company history, as it makes the article more informative and doesn't make assumptions about the knowledge the reader may or may not have about the company. 2. What changes would you suggest overall I saw that you make claims in many parts of your article like "retail companies should consider" and “Traditional retail stores are closing and are losing revenue”. I think you should either change the wordings of these sentences or mention the sources from where you got this information since we cannot use our opinions in the articles.

3. What is the most important thing that the author could do to improve his/her contribution? I think for an article especially on Wikipedia where people look to find information quickly and easily, flow is extremely important. When I was reading your article two things disrupted the flow of reading for me - the spelling and grammar mistakes and the page layout. I think it would be beneficial if you proofread the article aloud as this personally helps me to understand where I have made any spelling or grammer mistakes in my own work. In terms of the page layout, if a reader is looking for information quickly such big paragraphs can be quite overwhelming so maybe you could consider splitting the big paragraphs up into smaller ones?

4. Did you glean anything from your classmate's work that could be applicable to your own? If so, let him/her know!

Upon reading your article I also realized that my own article may not have a good flow because I too have used big paragraphs. So, I am now going to rearrange the layout of my article. Furthermore, I realized that I make quite a few claims in my introduction without using many sources to back up those claims so I am going to go back and add more sources. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Eshaahluwalia (talk • contribs) 21:36, 5 August 2020 (UTC)