User talk:Rappacvp2020/sandbox

Team 5 Peer Review
-The lead: The lead is informative. -The structure: The structure is well organized. The order flows easily. -The balancing act: Under economy of poverty, add in what the poverty line is as of the most recent data. Go more in depth with the "poverty within demographics" section. -Neutral content: The content is neutral as can be. -Reliable sources: Try to find the national unemployment rate from one of our textbooks and compare it to Alliance, OH. Also, do the same with the poverty line. Other than that, all the other sources seem reliable enough. -The love: You all have really good stats, it makes it informational. You kept it neutral. We suggested adding the poverty line in to make the stats mean something. This article is not applicable to us, since we are focusing on the causes of poverty.

peer review from team 3
Be more clear what reference you used for the long list of statistics and add links. Add more sources for information instead of just Fact Finder.

Change the sentence: The demographics for the city of Alliance, Ohio are quite intriguing and prove that the city is rich of diversity, and many walks of life. -- to -- The demographics for the city of Alliance, Ohio show that the city is rich in diversity. -- the parts we took out sound very opinion-based, but also, the city is rich in diversity as compared to what? how do you know that this is fact?

Change the sentence: There has been many shifts in the employment of Alliance citizens over the town’s history. -- to -- There have been many shifts in citizen employment over the town’s history. -- for grammar

Change the sentences: In the 1950’s there continued to be industry in manufacturing but shift to other companies less focused on war equipment and more focused on general equipment such as the motor industry in the Alliance Manufacturing company. This company in the 1950’s was the largest employer of women in that time. -- These two sentences don't make sense and need attention.

Change the sentence: The employment of citizens in Alliance has vastly impact the rates in poverty throughout the history of Alliance. -- to -- The employment rates have impacted poverty rates through the history of Alliance.

Change the sentence: Their income must be below 300% of the federal poverty level income guidelines. -- in order for what to happen? what are the consequences?

Eriseyas2020 (talk) 19:07, 2 April 2019 (UTC)eriseyas2020