User talk:Rba47

Jesus C. Azurin
Hi, User:I dream of horses pinged me with your concern. I can't understand why you were unable to leave a message on the bottom of my talk page in the same way that you did his, perhaps you were inadvertently trying to edit my user page, which is protected?

I deleted your article because
 * it did not provide independent verifiable sources to enable us to verify the facts and show that it meets the notability guidelines. Sources that are not acceptable include those linked to the company, social media and other sites that can be self-edited, blogs, websites of unknown or non-reliable provenance, and sites that are just reporting what the company claims or interviewing its management.
 * you gave some references, but they were not in-line so we can't tell what fact each is supporting. Put your references in the the text following the fact each supports using . Then    at the end will automatically generate a numbered list. Book and journal references should have page numbers, and books should have ISBN numbers
 * it was written in a promotional tone. Articles must be neutral and encyclopaedic. Examples of unsourced claims presented as fact include: he managed to radically overhaul the country’s health delivery system and achieved what many believed impossible: the first successful true integration of the promotive, preventive, and curative aspects of national health services... prestigious... a pioneer in community-based health services&mdash; and so on. It's not neutral in tone, more of a fan page
 * the article was created in a single edit without wikilinks or references, and looks as if was copied from an unknown and possibly copyrighted source. Copyrighted text is not allowed in Wikipedia, as outlined in this policy. That applies even to pages created by you or your organisation, unless they state clearly and explicitly that the text is public domain. Please make sure that it's all your own words
 * If you have a conflict of interest when editing this article, you must declare it.

It's not the worse I've seen, and if you want to try again, I'll post the deleted text to a user subpage for you to work on, just let me know. I suggest that you look at biographies such as Pamela C. Rasmussen to get an idea of layout and referencing. You don't have to use the fancy reference templates, just for web refs or  for books etc will do.

If you want to reply, you can do so on my talk page. You can alternatively leave a message on this page, and I will know you have done so if you start it with my user name, User:Jimfbleak and sign it with four tildes ~ when you post it. Jimfbleak - talk to me?  06:06, 3 September 2015 (UTC)


 * I saw your message, it makes it easier to spot if you add a heading (done now) or continue under the existing heading. I'll post the deleted text here shortly. I suggest you improve it in the sandbox before posting again. I'll be happy to take a look when you're ready if you want me to. Let me know if you want help Jimfbleak - talk to me?  05:57, 4 September 2015 (UTC).

The blue link in the sentence above this goes to your sandbox. What follows is an example of a referenced sentence. You may want to delete it when you are sure what you are doing. You only need the reflist once for all your refs

Andy Murray beat Thomaz Bellucci in the US Open tennis.

Reply
I don't think you have read my comments properly. The sandbox is a solid wall of unbroken prose, although I've now added some headings. Many of the references are bare urls without description (use ) and others are referencing his own papers, not an  independent verifiable sources. Too much of the text is a long quote, promotional in tone and a copyright violation which I will remove. There are few wikilinks to other articles.

If you have a conflict of interest when editing this article, you must declare it. Jimfbleak - talk to me?  06:59, 10 September 2015 (UTC)

u c==Reply== Hi jimfbleak. Please accept my apologies for the "wall of unbroken prose". I was doing the piece on the run on my laptop and I just pasted the revised text onto the sandbox thinking that it would retain its formatting. (I am actually still struggling with the Wiki processes and the syntax for the formatting of citations.)

Re the "long quote", this is from the actual Minutes of the 38th World Health Assembly held on May 9, 1985 at Geneva. I used this fundamentally to describe the Sasakawa Award of the World Health Organization and their reasons for awarding it (since you didn't like the words I originally used, somewhat of a paraphrase). I thought that an explanation from the organization itself giving the Award would be the most reliable and independent source. Moreover, quoting from the Verbatim Record of the proceedings of the WHO Assembly is like quoting from the minutes of, say, UN meetings -- it's a formal record of an event. I don't think there would be copyright issues in quoting from WHO Minutes, but you can correct me on that.

Re "referencing his own papers", these are from Official WHO Bulletins and I cited them only to establish the fact of the existence of the massive cholera study conducted from 1964-1972, not to refer to any of the many specific findings of the study. (I may add those later when I am able to go through the papers themselves.)

I hope the foregoing will make you reconsider your objections. Anyway, how should I proceed?

In the syntax you post above -- -- do I insert the url within the brackets, followed then by a description of the material itself, separated only by a space? For example:.

Thanks again. So sorry to take so much of your time. Rba47 (talk) 21:02, 10 September 2015 (UTC)

Reply

 * the quote is indubitably copyright, given its date. Although you can quote copyright text for illustrative purposes, it should be only a small part of the text (10% is usually taken as the guideline). Too much of your text is the quote
 * The flowery language of an award ceremony is not particularly encyclopaedic, and just looks spammy when quoted at such length. It's the fact that he got the award that matters, not the words that were used. Better to paraphrase most of the speech to give the gist of why it was awarded
 * I accept your point about the papers being WHO
 * Formatting of ref looks spot-on

Jimfbleak - talk to me?  06:07, 11 September 2015 (UTC)

Links

 * Your refs look much better now, but you don't need the square brackets at the beginning and end of those refs, like his papers, that don't have a url link. As you can see, they just show as square brackets
 * To link to existing articles, just put them between pairs of square brackets, so cholera gives cholera. Just check that the link goes to where you expect!
 * You can also pipe links, so Food and Drug Administration  gives  Food and Drug Administration but still links to the right page
 * Note that although you can link to Wikipedia articles, as above, they are not suitable for references

Jimfbleak - talk to me?  06:04, 13 September 2015 (UTC)

Reply
I've put links in the first paragraph (only) to show what I meant. You need to do the same for the rest of the article, but if a topic is mentioned more than once only link it on first occurrence. No urls, just the double brackets as I've done.

What links here just tells you what pages mention yours, really only relevant when it's in article space. You don't need my permission, you can repost at any time when you are happy with your text. Use the "Move" tab to move your article to the desired title, don't cut-and-paste or people will get cross since that loses the page history. Jimfbleak - talk to me?  06:10, 14 September 2015 (UTC)

Thanks
Thanks for the invaluable help, Jimfbleak! I truly appreciate the guidance. Rba47 (talk) 16:27, 14 September 2015 (UTC)

Another question
Sorry to bother you again, Jimfbleak, but how do I insert a picture into the page?


 * Go here and follow the instructions. Note that if the image has been published elsewhere, you cannot use it unless it is explicitly public domain. Jimfbleak - talk to me?  17:13, 14 September 2015 (UTC)

Thanks again
Thanks again, Jimfbleak. I've moved the article already. Re picture, I will obtain one from the family.Rba47 (talk) 20:35, 16 September 2015 (UTC)