User talk:Rebeccaf1995/sandbox

Some sentences are worded a little weird and that becomes distracting.

Black feminism is touched upon but I think could be further explained/ examined. It would benefit from its own section too.

The middle section begins to jump around from different people without any introductions or connections. There is one sentence about Queen Latifah that doesn't really seem to fit where it was placed.

The article could also benefit from further developing the different waves of feminism. They seem too quickly described.

The links do work, however there are a mix of source types the range from unreliable to reliable. There are appropriate books and journal articles but also blogs and websites. Rebeccaf1995 (talk) 20:06, 29 March 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review by Esme
Hi Rebecca,

This is a peer review on the section in your sandbox, "Roller Derby As A Political Act:"

I like what you included about derby in Egypt, and your explanation of the ways participating creates a political statement. You then go on to talk about derby creating a queer space, and I think there is room to elaborate on this: perhaps gender politics deserves it's own section? Based on what you have written, you could include what you have written from "Roller derby also acts as a queerspace..." to "Mainstream frameworks of female sports and teams highly objectify them for the male gaze while ignoring their individual sexualities [4]" Everything in between seems like it would fit nicely under the subheading of "gender politics and derby"

You might also consider creating a new section titled something like Gender and Athleticism, where you could put "Female athletes in the public eye are highly sexualized with their bodies reduced to objects. With female athletes in particular, there is a lack of focus on their athletic ability and a greater focus on their appearance and femininity (or lack thereof). Masculine bodies are the standard when it comes to athleticism and female bodies are constantly compared against this image. Roller derby turns this idea on its head by reclaiming sexualities and disregarding gender roles and norms. As stated by feminist scholar, V.A. Brownsworth in, Bigotry on The Home Team, Lesbians Face Harsh Penalties in the Sports World, "Sports are masculine; therefore, women in sports are masculine; therefore, women in sports are lesbian."[5] Derby girls change the way we view athleticism in women by claiming agency over their own hyper-sexualization to resist patriarchal standards.[6"

Hope this helps. Happy editing. Esmearielfemsub (talk) 22:48, 19 April 2018 (UTC) esme 4/19

Response to peer review - Esme
Thank you for the feedback! I think it is a good idea to elaborate on the ideas I presented and to also make this into two sections. I think this would give the information justice as opposed to being squished into one section. Thank you for the helpful feedback!Rebeccaf1995 (talk) 17:39, 26 April 2018 (UTC)

Roller Derby As A Political Act
Roller derby is inherently a political act because of its ability to create spaces that defy heteronormativity and patriarchal standards. For example, in Egypt's society, there are certain expectation of women to not show visible scars, to have an unblemished body for her husband and to refrain from activity that may damage her body. Because of this, roller derby in Egypt is subversive: it acts as a political statement without directly addressing it. Roller derby also acts as a queer space that creates a unique stage for female athletes. Skaters enact sexualities that act as a creation of identity and a reclamation of identity. The role of women in derby parody "hegemonic scripts of sexuality" through the use of costumes, derby names and personas. Derby allows women to create commentary on the societal constraints placed on women and female athletes. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Rebeccaf1995 (talk • contribs) 18:04, 2 May 2018 (UTC)