User talk:Rhiannon ballard/sandbox

Brittani Johnston's Review
The section on the fish's diet is very brief. Perhaps it could be added onto a different section? I found the mating and parental behaviors section well-written and really fascinating! I almost want to know more about the later stages of the offspring's growth. The section title "Scientific Grouping" is a touch awkward for a title. I feel like there's a better title out there for the content of the section. In the aquarium care section, remove the "is" before "became relatively popular in the 1980s". Additions in italics provide relevant details to the article. Title "as an Invasive species" could be improved. Look at the lionfish and other invasive species for ideas. Very good job overall! Bantol13795 (talk) 02:38, 17 March 2014 (UTC)

Brad Landry Feedback
Overall you did a very good job making contributions to this article. Your contributions are filled with valuable information and make the article much better as a whole. The "scientific grouping" section is pretty good, but I feel that it can benefit from possible rewording or the addition of more content. The "mating and parental habits" section is extremely interesting very well done. The only thing I noticed was one grammatical error in the last sentence. Switch out "exchange" with "exchanged" and it will be good to go. The "diet" section is pretty small. It may be best to combine it with another section or to add more content to it. I found another small grammatical error in the "aquarium care" section, the word "is" is not needed in the first sentence. The "as an invasive fish" section is also very interesting and informative. I do not believe that much has to be added to this section as it seems to cover just about everything. I think that you did a great job with this article. BradLandry (talk) 01:30, 18 March 2014 (UTC)

Review from Dr. Becky
Both of your peers have provided you with good feedback. Look for these issues throughout the article. You have significantly added a significant amount of information- keep it up! Continue to improve it by adding citations to support ideas, being more specific with details, removing grammatical errors, and making a clearer connection to how this species influences the native ecosystem. Several areas are in need of peer-review scientific article support and you should be able to find options on invasion. I had several questions as I read the article, such as what is the habitat like where cichlids mate? What is their role in a native ecosystem? How do they influence species in introduced areas? What is the economic significance? Are people charged with their release? The questions suggest that more information is necessary. There is certainly much that could be added and I think you are on your way to a strong contribution! B.J.Carmichael (talk) 20:45, 19 March 2014 (UTC)

Headline and Revisions
My headline was this: My Wikipedia article needs more direct sentences as well as additional information.

I reorganized the page by switching sections around and I attempted to make my sentences more direct. I rewrote almost the entire article to try and fix grammatical errors and to make the article more clear. As for additional information, I added a few new sources and a bit more information about mating, diets, and how the fish was introduced into non-native areas, but I found it difficult to address some of the questions that arose in the feedback I received. Not much seems to be known about the cichlid as far as how it effects its native ecosystem or the ecosystems it invades.

Rhiannon ballard (talk) 19:10, 1 April 2014 (UTC)