User talk:Rickyricardio/sandbox

Suggestions for improvement and problems with sources
This is a good topic. You need a summary of who Finkielkraut was when he wrote the book and his public status in France today. You may need some help with translations from the French. Ask our French exchange student in the class. Your titles of articles and titles of journals in the second and third source look identical. This is a problem. DH

Some work left to do on your article
Dear Mr Trejo

Good progress. Your sources are much better. Did you read the French articles yourself? Your prose needs a lot of work. Please bring this draft to the Teaching and Learning Commons to get help. The titles of your sections are problematic. Still not entirely clear: is this a new article entirely, or have you edited an existing article? Giving you 15 points so far and the other 15 are pending. DH--DHertzGSR (talk) 15:19, 20 November 2018 (UTC)

Responding to "some work left"
Hello professor Hertz, To answer your questions. This article is a new one as none exists currently. For the French I ran it through a translator that chrome has. I have now made changes to a lot of the unclear parts of article but I'm still not entirely sure about what to do with the titles of my sections, mostly the background of the author at time of writing I think is adequate but I'm not sure if I should separate it from the section on his background of current activity and if so not sure what to call that section. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Rickyricardio (talk • contribs) 07:20, 27 November 2018 (UTC)

Please see me re progress on your article
Dear Mr Trejo

I see various problems here. You really do not talk enough about the book. Have you read it? Your prose needs a lot of work to bring it up to an academic level. Please bring your text to the Teaching and Learning Commons for help. I checked the existing article and I see why yours has the potential to be original. Various typos and other problems in the footnotes. 15 points so far. DH--DHertzGSR (talk) 13:47, 27 November 2018 (UTC)

responding to progress
Professor hertz, I have now added in a short summary section of the book itself. I also went to the learning commons and have made some adjustments with their help and advice. If there are still further problems please let me know with a specific example please so I can understand fully by what you mean by shortcomings in my "prose". Thank you Rickyricardio (talk) 23:34, 1 December 2018 (UTC)

More work needed
Dear Mr Trejo

Quite a bit of work left. It is hard for me to believe that the staff at the T and L Commons signed off on this draft as adequate. Please copy it into a word document and print it up or work with them on the screen. Please ask the staff person you are working with to send you the text that they approve.

Here is a partial list of the problems. Philosopher should not be a cap. not "the" Jewish identity cannot remember repression what is ENS? all FN numbers at end of sentence no imperialism inside of France---not possible sentence about universalism and racism: rewrite for clarity.

FN 8: what is "Papier?" Need more info

FN 6-8 are same reference: consolidate

FN 9 and 10: you need to create a proper FN for a book review. Check the U of chicago Manual of Style.

You have until Monday midnight Dec 17th to finish. Kindly send me an email to hertzd@gmail.com when you are ready for me to take another look.

Good luck

DH--DHertzGSR (talk) 19:24, 12 December 2018 (UTC)

Awarding partial points
Dear Mr Trejo

I appreciate all the work you have done and I see the improvements. To make the article publishable, you would need more editing advice than I can provide in the format of the course. Therefore I am awarding you 25 of the 30 points possible on the wiki assignment. DH--DHertzGSR (talk) 19:13, 18 December 2018 (UTC)