User talk:Ronirat/sandbox

Copyediting Needed
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orzo_(pasta) This is a link to a wikipedia article about orzo pasta. There is not very much about it in the article. I would improve this page by adding more facts and talk about different ways to use the pasta. Ronirat (talk) 22:40, 5 February 2015 (UTC)


 * You're suggesting to expand the article, which is not part of this assignment. You can do that on your own, of course, but for this assignment you must find an article in need of copyediting (fixing problems with grammar and clarity). Josef Horáček (talk) 21:05, 7 February 2015 (UTC)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Storm_spotting This article has a couple of punctuation problems and needs fixing to make more coherent sentences Ronirat (talk) 04:10, 8 February 2015 (UTC)
 * Your edits didn't exactly improve the wording, but they didn't make it worse either. Since the main reason for this assignment was to learn how to edit, I will accept the changes. Josef Horáček (talk) 17:21, 17 February 2015 (UTC)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easter_Bunny This is the article that I would like to add more reliable citation and references to. Ronirat (talk) 04:45, 9 February 2015 (UTC)
 * I approve both your choices. Josef Horáček (talk) 18:07, 10 February 2015 (UTC)

This is the 1st source I will use in the Easter Bunny article  http://infoweb.newsbank.com/resources/doc/nb/news/12C79B342CA21A08?p=AWNB This is the 2nd source i will use in the Easter Bunny article http://infoweb.newsbank.com/resources/doc/nb/news/12C79B342CA21A08?p=AWNB This is the 3rd source I will use in the Easter Bunny article http://web.a.ebscohost.com.libezp.lib.lsu.edu/ehost/detail/detail?sid=cb8d067b-b61e-4870-9759-2474433212b0%40sessionmgr4004&vid=20&hid=4109&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZSZzY29wZT1zaXRl#db=a9h&AN=24482050 This is the 4th source I will use in the Easter Bunny article http://www.lexisnexis.com.libezp.lib.lsu.edu/hottopics/lnacademic/  — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ronirat (talk • contribs) 21:07, 10 February 2015 (UTC)
 * Good sources. Josef Horáček (talk) 21:01, 16 February 2015 (UTC)
 * Thanks for integrating the sources into the article. The formatting of the references is not quite right, though. You list Academic Search Complete where the title of the periodical should be. You also need to include access dates. Josef Horáček (talk) 02:14, 1 March 2015 (UTC)

This is the article I would like to add a lead section to. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child%27s_Dream Ronirat (talk) 02:47, 20 February 2015 (UTC)

The article I chose is Child's Dream and there is no lead section. The structure and balance of the article is fairly decent. The main issue, besides no lead, is that there are numerous grammatical and spelling errors. Overall this article has a lot of information on the charity and even gives examples of how Child's Dream has been successful. In the lead section I plan to give a quick overview of the article. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ronirat (talk • contribs) 20:55, 22 February 2015 (UTC)

Child's Dream Lead
Child's Dream is a not-for-profit organization dedicated to empowering marginalized children, youth and communities in the Mekong Sub-Region of Myanmar, Laos, Thailand, and Cambodia.[1] Child's Dream was established in 2003 by 2 wealthy bankers, Daniel Siegfried and Marc Jenni to contribute to the core of many humanitarian crises and children suffer the most. Child's Dream mission is to help shape the future for marginalized communities through working with communities to improve health care, education, and socioeconomic opportunities for families. Their vision is that every child in Cambodia, Laos, Myanmar, and Thailand grows up happy and educated. They work towards the health, as well as the basic and higher education of each and every child. Child's Dream focuses on 6 values to achieve its mission. They believe that the way to a stable development is yo listen and understand the needs of each community. Ronirat (talk) 00:04, 25 February 2015 (UTC) I'm really sorry to say that another student has also chosen this article. Having multiple students work on the same article wouldn't work for this assignment. Since the other student chose it first, I have to ask you to find a different article. Sorry about the inconvenience. You don't need to post another analysis. Just choose an article and write a draft of the lead. Also, I'm happy to give you an extension on the project if necessary. Josef Horáček (talk) 02:21, 1 March 2015 (UTC)

Spruce sawflies [European spruce sawfly] are insects originally founded in North America. They tend to attack [spruce]. There are multiple kinds of spruce sawflies, including, yellow-headed spruce sawfly, green-headed spruce sawfly, little spruce sawfly, and spruce webspinning sawfly. Each kind of sawfly tend to attack particular parts of the spruce during different times of the year. These insects first begin feasting, or attacking, spruce just as [larvae] and continue until they are full grown. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ronirat (talk • contribs) 18:08, 2 March 2015 (UTC)
 * This article is a bit confused. It covers four species, with a fifth species having its own article. Here are my suggestions: 1. Remove the internal link to the European spruce sawfly from the first sentence, and add this species to the list in the third sentence. It should be in first position and have an internal link. 2. Replace "originally founded" with just "found." 3. Remove all instances of "tend to." 4. Delete "just" from last sentence and replace "full" with "fully." Josef Horáček (talk) 20:16, 2 March 2015 (UTC)

Spruce sawflies are insects found in North America. Spruce sawflies attack [spruce]. There are multiple species of sawflies, including, [European spruce sawfly], yellow-headed spruce sawfly, green-headed spruce sawfly, little spruce sawfly, and spruce webspinning sawfly. Each kind of sawfly attack particular parts of the spruce during different times of the year. These insects first begin feasting, or attacking, spruce as [larvae] and continue until they are full grown. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ronirat (talk • contribs) 01:25, 3 March 2015 (UTC)
 * The lead is much better now but still can use some additional proofreading. Josef Horáček (talk) 12:25, 10 March 2015 (UTC)