User talk:Rose Vanserra/sandbox

Alright, on thing that stood out to me was at the end of the section when you talk about haverhill fever. It just confused me a bit just with the way it was worded. Instead, perhaps it could be worded like: Havenhill fever is another form of rat bite fever; However, the bacteria *insert bacteria name* is transmitted through tainted milk, instead of a bite. Outside of that, I think you've got a great epi section here!

Blesisp (talk) 01:51, 27 November 2018 (UTC)

Overall this piece and very concise and thorough. Each statement and/or claim back up by facts, with a logical progression explaining the topic. The part that stood out to me the most, was the one related to Haverhill Fever. It almost seems as if your talking about another disease. I would recommend that you clarify that the disease is the same bacteria but instead of it being transferred via a rat bit, it is transferred through tainted milk. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Cfogal=2018 (talk • contribs) 03:50, 27 November 2018 (UTC)

Orion's Critique
Hi All, Instead of adding to the sandbox I'm going to place my comments and critiques in here so the sandbox itself is easier to navigate. Feel free to contact me via email or over text if you have any questions or need me to clarify anything.

Grammatic/Structure Critiques (Article Copied From Sandbox):

Researchers are challenged in knowing the prevalence of Rat-Bite Fever (RBF). One factor that limits the known number of cases of RBF is that RBF is not a reportable disease.[1] Rat-Bite Fever is classified as a notifiable disease, which means RBF is required by the state to be reported, however, the state is not mandated to provide that information to the CDC at the federal level. Identification of RBF is also hindered due to the presence of two different etiological agents, Streptobacillus moniliformis and Spirillum minus. RBF caused by Spirillum minus is more commonly found in Asia and is termed Sodoku, whereas Streptobacillus moniliformis is found more often in the United States and in the Western Hemisphere. [2] Although cases of rat-bite fever have been reported all over the world, the majority of cases have been '''reported in the United States. [3][1] In the United States, approximately 200 total cases have been identified and reported.[1] Due to increasing population density, Rat-bite fever (RBF) is seen more frequently, as humans have increased their contact with animals and the zoonotic diseases they carry.[4] Most cases of the disease have been reported from densely populated regions, such as big cities like Sacramento.[4] The populations at risk have broadened''' due to the fact that domestic rats have become a common household pet. According to the estimates, in the United States children 5 years and younger are exposed to the greatest risk, receiving 50% of the total bites, followed by laboratory personal, and then pet store employees.[1] RBF is a vector-borne disease, transferred from rats, gerbils, and mice through either a bite or scratch though physical contact.[5] Symptoms of RBF include sudden high temperature fevers, vomiting, headaches, painful joints, and a rash that develops 2-10 days after infection.[5][4] Symptoms differ between the two types of RBF, however, both types exhibit an incubation period before symptoms manifest.[6] RBF is rarely diagnosed by clinicians and if left untreated the mortality rate of RBF is 13%.[1][7] It is estimated that 10%-100% of domestic rats are carriers for S. moniliformis and 50%-100% of wild rats carry the pathogenic bacteria which cause RBF.[1] Haverhill fever is spread to people through milk which is contaminated with diseased rats. Haverhill fever is also caused by Streptobacillus moniliformis, leading to similar symptoms between Haverhill fever and RBF.[1]

'''Comments (In bold and order of appearance):

•	Change in structure/transition

•	Change in structure and you may consider combining and/or rephrasing the two sentences so that "In the United States" isn't used as often as it is.

•	Minor change

•	Revise sentence so your readers are clear that laboratory personal and pet store employees are the second and third leading populations of greatest risk (and possibly include their percent of total bites if it is feasible

•	Simplified sentence '''

Overall Critique- You all have a fantastic start on this article! Your lead section describes the basic epidemiology of the disease as well as struggles public health officials and epidemiologists face regarding it. Specifically, I think the last two sentences of your first paragraph and the first two of you second are very well written. More so, the article seems balanced and transitions nicely from one point to another; if you continue with this quality you all will be more than fine moving forward. Really nice work! — Preceding unsigned comment added by OrionAllgaier (talk • contribs) 21:42, 27 November 2018 (UTC)